Now that September and October are upon us, all 4 major sports will be in play. Baseball is winding down, hockey and basketball will be starting up exhibition camps, and football started its regular season tonight. If you were watching ESPN, you probably thought doomsday was upon us, but no, it was just the countdown to the kickoff. The 49ers, my fave team, were going up against the Giants. The kicking and the secondary really scared me tonight with Collins seemingly completing every clutch pass and Cortez missing an easy one courtesy of a block. But they hung tough and won the game 16-13. Hopefully, they'll make some corrections in preparation for their second game against whoever they're playing.

USA basketball will not medal in an international competition featuring NBA players for the first time ever. Yawn. With the exception of one person, nobody cares about the World Championships. Even worse, no one realizes it's happening on our soil, Indiana to be exact. Have you seen that empty place? It looks as empty as Cal's stadium when they beat Baylor over the weekend. By the way, Cal faces New Mexico State this weekend.

Hockey season starts today with rookie camp. Only 4 weeks til the regular season starts.

Finally, the newspaper wrote an article about my high school, Oak Grove, and the prospects for its coming football season. For those not in the know, they're really good until they get to the CCS championship game, where they just blow it big time. This year, they start off #11 in the area, the lowest I remember, citing turnover from graduation. They'll be trying for their 6th straight division championship, so Go Eagles!

A small update about the California Governor's race. There's a new poll out saying that people would more likely vote for Richard Riordan for governor if given the option. He was defeated in the primary months ago, but things have gotten so bad for the two candidates, Davis and Simon, that this has happened. In the meantime, Davis' negative ads have succeeded in raising Simon's negative numbers, almost to the level Davis is at right now. So, in the race between dumb guy 1 and dumb guy 2, Davis is leading by 7 points.

Still need some Berkeley units? May I suggest Stat 20? Why? I'm the new reader for Section 3. I promise if I see your name, I'll grade your paper easier than the others. If I don't like you, I might just mark everything wrong.

It was a very hot day today. 98 degrees it said near my house. Luckily, I was driving back today, AC at full blast, and cool Berkeley waiting in the wings. Because it was Labor Day, I was going to savor every moment in the cold car because after all, traffic was going to be a nightmare. But alas it wasn't. No traffic to speak of whatsoever. Yahoo! thinks it takes 1:05 to get to my apartment. On a normal day with traffic, it takes 1:15, 1:20. It took 1:40 last Friday. But today! My gosh, a short 55 minutes! And I know I wasn't speeding that much. 80 tops. Promise. But now look. It's a cool 77 degrees here with the sun setting.

The Good Girl
I know, I said no more summer movies, but this will be the last one. Promise. Jennifer Aniston stars as Justine, a gal in a dead-end job with no direction in her life whatsoever. Her husband, John C. Reilly, hangs out with a really gross man, played by Tim Blake Nelson, where they smoke pot and paint houses. It seems the only thing that will cheer her up is a baby, something they haven't been able to have. Then change comes in the form of Holden, the new cashier of the Retail Rodeo. He claims to be the character from Catcher in the Rye. He's a writer just inching to get out into the world if only he had a little money to play around with. Soon, Justine and Holden see their relationship grow into a physical one. All of Justine's quibbles from the start of the movie are gone. She's on a high that she doesn't want to give up. But that high does disappear and soon Justine is faced with choosing between her past and her possible new future.

I like Aniston's performance in this one. She's ready to break out of her Friends' mold and into some serious roles. Ultimately, the movie can't decide whether it wants to be a comedy or drama. Death is met with laughter. Adultery is just brushed aside. Each of the supporting characters seem to have only one function and play it til it gets tired. I did like Zooey Deschanel's comedic performance as a clerk. But the way the movie is built, the ending seems to come out of left field. But the title is the key and Aniston is a good girl, even if she does some bad things along the way. 2.5 stars

I forgot to mention a hilarious article by sports humorist Bill Simmons at ESPN's Page 2. On the heels of a list of the 20 greatest sports movies of all-time, he writes an in-depth analysis of The Karate Kid trilogy. As someone who watched the trilogy, I found this thing very funny. Here are a few excerpts:

For one thing, there's a terrific plot: Lovable loser Daniel moves to California, feuds with a band of moped-riding karate bullies, gets his butt kicked repeatedly, turns to a Japanese maintenance man for guidance, learns karate, learns about life, falls in love, enters a tournament against the bullies, gets injured in the semifinals, rallies back to fight his girlfriend's ex-boyfriend in the Finals, improbably gets the win. The end. Does it get any better than that?

Elisabeth Shue's character was probably thinking, "Hey, this kid's 5-foot-7, he weighs 100 pounds, he can't defend himself, he has no money and no car, we run in different social circles, his mom has to drive him on dates, and everyone hates him. ... I think I'm in love!"

Three underrated cast members really helped the cause here:

1. Randee Heller as Mrs. LaRusso, one of my favorite Hollywood Moms of the '80s (right up there with Mrs. Keaton and Mrs. Bueller). You know, in a five-year span, Randee played Gabe Kaplan's wife in "Fast Break," Ken Reeves' stripper girlfriend in "The White Shadow," and Daniel-San's Mom in "The Karate Kid," and then she was never seen again ... and I guess my point is this: You don't need to work anymore with a résumé like that.

2. Billy Zabka's watershed performance as the villainous Johnny Lawrence (Daniel-San's nemesis and the head of the Cobra Kai), which launched his much-lauded career as the definitive '80s movie villain. In my opinion, he has entered that rare group of actors who only need to go by one name: Eastwood, Stallone, Hanks, Cruise, Nicholson ... and Zabka.

3. The Cobra Kai flunkie who screams "Get him a bodybag ... yeahhhhhh!" during the climactic Daniel-Johnny fight scene, which emerged as one of the signature movie quotes from the '80s - right up there with "How 'bout a Fresca, hmmmmm?", "Dammit Maverick!", "Looks like the University of Illinois!" and "Two months, Bender ... you're mine for two months."

Some other classic moments: Miyagi saving Daniel-San on Halloween night (and wiping out the Cobra Kai) ... Miyagi and Daniel-San trying to catch flies with chopsticks ... the well-filmed scene when Daniel is trying that balancing thing on the beach ... the emotional 16th birthday party, when Miyagi gives Daniel-San one of his antique cars (awwwww) ... Daniel and Ali's first date, one of those hokey, "We're on a date and having a good time" '80s montages ... Daniel crashing Ali's country club party, then getting a plate of spaghetti on him, prompting another classic '80s device -- the "Everyone's laughing at me, and I need to get out of here" scene.

The inspiring All-Valley Karate Tournament montage (one of my favorite sports movie sequence ever), taken to the next level by that "You're the best ... around ... nothing's ever gonna keep you down!" song. I've probably watched this sequence 455 times in my life, and if it was showing on HBO8 right now, I'd be taking a break for No. 456. I love when Daniel beats Dutch (the white-haired kid, played by Chad McQueen, who would eventually make a name for himself on Skinemax). In real life, would Daniel-San have ever beaten Dutch? Of course not. Even in the movie, they skimp over that fight because they know it's totally improbable.

While preparing for this column, I realized that I hadn't seen "KKII" in years. That led to this exchange between me and the guy answering phones at my local Hollywood Video store:


Me: "Hey, I was wondering if you guys had "Karate Kid II" in?"

Guy: (Dead silence)

Me: "You know, the sequel to 'Karate Kid'?"

Guy (a little frightened): "Um, yeah, we do."

Me: "Great, I'm coming down right now to pick it up."

Guy (picking up his other phone to alert local police): "Sure."


(I'm telling you, you haven't really died a slow death in life until you've entered a video store and muttered the words, "Hi, I'm the guy who called about 'Karate Kid II.' ")

A quick plot recap for KKII: Miyagi's father in Okinawa dies, so Miyagi decides to fly to Japan. Since Ali dumped Daniel-San, he has no friends and nothing to do all summer ... this prompts a painful scene in which Daniel-San arrives at the airport just as Miyagi is boarding his plane, leading to some "Please, let me come with you" begging and this hair-raising quote:

"Mr. Miyagi, you're more important than college, you're more important than anything to me."

(Yup ... this was the point in the trilogy in which the Daniel-Miyagi relationship could officially be described as "a little uncomfortable.")

Back in the '90s, you had a 75.638% chance of catching "KKIII" on one of the three HBO channels at any time. I'll never forget the spring when I was vacationing in the Caribbean -- our hotel TV had six channels, including a Spanish HBO. Needless to say, one morning, "KKIII" was showing with Spanish dubbing. You couldn't get away from it if you tried.

Why in God's name was Daniel-San still hanging out with Mr. Miyagi? How come he couldn't make any friends that were within 45 years of his own age? In one scene, he kicks off a date by bringing the girl over to meet Mr. Miyagi, essentially saying, "Hey, instead of going out, let's go meet my 85-year-old Japanese buddy, Mr. Miyagi. He's weird, he talks in grunts and his first name is 'Mister.' You'll love this guy!"

Read the whole thing here.

With August over, the summer is pretty much over, which means the summer movie rankings come down. Sure, I still might watch a stray summer movie like Simone, The Good Girl, or One Hour Photo, but they won't be in the rankings. Sure, the fact that I watched 23 movies may disturb a few people, hell, maybe all of you, but that's the so-called life I lead. With school completely in my mindset, fall movies will now to try to invade for my time, which I will let it do successfully. According to Entertainment Weekly, there are 153 movies from now til December 31 to be released, some really good, some really bad. Case in point for the latter? Swimfan. I'm starting to think you don't appreciate me.

When I say there's been a blowout during a Cal football game, I bet you'd expect the worst. And you'd be wrong. Cal actually won. We're now living in a bizarro world. You know what else? San Jose State also won too. What the heck's going on? Sure, they weren't exactly championship-caliber teams they beat, but considering past history, this was an accomplishment.

For record keeping, Cal beat Baylor 70-22 and SJSU beat Arkansas State 33-14.

In past years, I could stand the VMA's. You know, the hype leading up to it, the ridiculous pre-show, and the boring show itself. But this year, no. All the VMA-related shows were too much leading up to it. A flawed pre-show with an out-of-control Ludacris, a laidback Avril Lavigne, and hosts who couldn't get a cue right, and when they did, they just completely messed up. Jimmy Fallon, while original, was horrible. And they didn't even show him that much. Its saving grace was its many, many performances by decent artists. (As Jimmy said during one of his parodies, this would be one of the few times you'd be listening to music on MTV). But still, MTV treats movies better than its trademark music.

As part of this non-life I lead, I've noticed a lot of weird things going on during commercials.

Why do people look so ridiculous promoting those dance videos? First, it was that guy with Lance Bass showing how you can do those dances from the music videos. Now, they've got something called Zumba, something that looks ten times worse than the Lance Bass thing. Its hook? You get a heart watch with every Zumba video. What a deal...

Nicoderm CQ is now a clear patch. Yet still, people will not buy it nor will it work. Of all the people I know who use it, they still smoke.

E!'s TV Tales will profile "Who's The Boss?" next week. In the commercial, the voice-over guy says to see how the show "changed TV". How exactly? I mean, come on, we're talking about Tony Danza here. Alyssa Milano? Well, that's another story.

There's a new batting tool out there where a baseball or softball attached to a rope can be hit with a bat and swing back around in tetherball-like fashion for endless batting practice fun. I have only one question. In the commercial, why the hell are they wearing helmets?

You know what's a stupid movie title. The Transporter. While accurate, it sounds too sci-fi. What's one even worse? Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever. No other comment needed.

Reflections on this the second day of school...

School's a half-hour earlier today since it starts at 9:40am instead of 10:10 the day before. Again, the sun has decided to peek its bright head for all of Berkeley to see. It's just too hot.

Because I'm headed to Evans, I take the 52L bus. Two buses pass, full and late, leaving me at the stop. I'm forced to take a 51, making me walk an extra 10 minutes. It's hot and my feet hurt.

I finally get there. It wasn't too late but late enough for me not to get a seat, making me stand. It's math and it's overcrowded. The professor is one of those fat Russians who always seem to be nice. Loud chalk-writing. Broke at least two pieces of chalk during the course of explaining the syllabus. On the other side of the room is my high school friend Sidney. Considering the amount of complaining he does about math, I was surprised to see him here. He explains he just signed up for it yesterday. But I'm distracted by my standing. It's hot in the room, my feet hurt, and they're getting tired.

Luckily, the professor lets us go a half-hour into the lecture. I quickly head home since there are now 4 hours til my next class. On the way, I see another high school friend, Blaine. He's just transferred from De Anza and now is living in the majestic dorms of Unit 2. We go way back, all the way to elementary school. As a new Cognitive Science major, he's just getting his bearings straight by taking some introductory classes. We walk around for a while just talking. Yes, walk. Did I mention I'm hot and my feet hurt?

He gets to class and I head home. Ah, the strikers again. Louder than ever today. Tomorrow promises to be the best day with the addition of hundreds of lecturers to the lines. And if you know lecturers, you know they can speak really loud. It's hot, my feet hurt, and now I think my ears are ringing from the yelling and the honking.

It's 1:30. Time to head back. I've been thrilled by exciting television, at least exciting as can be during lunchtime, chilled by some nice apple juice, and filled with an omelet. The bus is actually on time today. Now it's all good.

The economics lecture is now. It's another Indian guy but this guy has a really good American accent. Ooo, he's a Power Point guy. It's getting hot again and I've been dozing off a couple of times.

At its conclusion, I realize my next class is all the way on the other side of the campus. On this hot day? You cannot be serious. I find out Datman has these two exact classes and we walk to Lewis for the history class. We sit in the top row and listen to the professor talk and talk and talk. He seems like a normal guy. But again, it's hot.

The history professor mentions the only book needed is a course reader. We stop by the copy place and find out it's $81.00, cash only. Really, what college student has this kind of money? Predictably, I'm broke. Because I'm hot as well, I head home to refresh and to get up the next day.

Full Frontal
Fresh off his directorial wonder Traffic and his crowd-pleaser Ocean's Eleven, Steven Soderbergh decided to experiment a little. The result is the digital-camera film Full Frontal. Meant to be a follow-up to his great film "Sex, Lies, and Videotape," this follows a group of people attached in one way or another to a Hollywood film being produced and shot. The stars come out in full force for this one. Julia Roberts. Catherine Keener. Blair Underwood. David Hyde-Pierce. David Duchovny. Mary McCormack. Even Brad Pitt in a cameo. All followed strict rules to keep costs way down including no trailers, the task of dressing themselves, being forced to stay in character at all times, etc.

The result is disappointing. First of all, it's nice for Soderbergh to embrace the digital revolution, but his camerawork here is shoddy at best. His use of natural light over conventional light is a bad decision with dim shots and sunny shots wreaking havoc on our eyes. There are shots where he decides to go out-of-focus while dialogue is heard. This is done for reasons I'm still not sure about. Then there's the story. What does it all mean? There's too much stuff going on, all connected in one way or another, to figure things out. What results when you leave is a bad headache and a confused mind. 1 star

Reflections on this first day of school:

The sun actually reared its head from behind the clouds today, creating a hot day to get to class.

As usual, the bus was late.

The strikers are everywhere! Nice enough people; easily excited when somebody honks a horn. They deserve every penny they're asking for.

My first class was Statistics. When I walked into the dreary room known as 155 Donner Lab, I saw my favorite professor, Professor Pham, erasing the board. Was there a switch? Alas, no. He was finishing up teaching the class before. Instead, a young Indian walked in. I remember him as a substitute I had during section in my last Stat class. He explained he just got his PhD but wanted to teach for a year before going out to the world to get paid a decent salary. For 50 minutes, he read the syllabus. Nothing else really happened. Just cramped from the fact that there were 100 people and only 80 seats. It's bad enough the room is in the corner of nowhere, behind the still-incomplete Hearst Mining Building. The teacher? Bad sense of humor but nice guy even though he suggests we switch to the other Stat class being taught by the actual author of the book.

Let's see, 3 hours to kill before my next and last class for the day. Yep, I'm killing myself with two 1-hour classes on the first day. I go home. First, I walk through the mess known as Sproul Plaza. Hordes of people come running up to you, flyers in hand, probably thinking, "Here, you throw this away."

Again, the bus is late.

I have a Hot Pocket for lunch. Whoever made these things is a genius.

It's 1:30, time to go back. This time, I barely miss the bus.

I get to Cory for my Econ class, only realizing then that I've got no idea which room it's in. I hurry through the whole 2nd floor, discovering the last room to check is the room. Only 1 minute late but this guy had decided to start a bit early. After listening to his spiel including a lengthy thing about his office hours being in his living room, gross, it's time to take roll. Among the highlights, there are 5 people with the last name of Kim in the class. The class became out of control when the name Kim Kim was called. Also, in the class was Chun Lee, which drew a chuckle until he quickly said he wanted to be called Steve. Class was over a half hour early. Feeling how thirsty I was, I headed home.

Long lines in the two bookstores. Geez, nobody was prepared this year. Luckily, I took care of that last week.

Yep, the bus is late again.

And so tomorrow begins another year in Berkeley and things couldn't be any worse.

While every school year from now on will start off with the lingering memories of September 11th, the first anniversary will be the hardest. But also raining in on the parade is the air of striking. Not only is baseball threatening to strike this Friday, two strikes threaten to wreak havoc on an already wild first week of school in Berkeley. The clerical workers, who deal with all the paperwork and the all-important waiting lists, go on strike for the first three days of the year. Also, lecturers, underpaid and let go after a few years, will strike on Wednesday unless a new contract is written.

This fall will be the first time the book-buying season is without the Campus Textbook Exchange, the store with the familiar sign on Bancroft, leaving Berkeleyans with only the ASUC and Ned's for the book-buying needs.

More people are arriving in Berkeley, people who look like me, Asians, and less people of the other races, leaving this small minority to protest louder than ever before.

Fire has struck some apartments down the street from me and through the course of last night, Oakland suffered its 72nd and 73rd homicides.

As for me, I'm prepared like I usually am, which means I am not prepared. But I'll probably get up tomorrow and a brand new day will arrive.

My sister is away at her little colorguard cram session this week but she has reminded me repeatedly about recording TRL today. Apparently, her musical flavor of the month, Avril Lavigne, is a prominent guest today. What have they done to this show? When it first started as MTV Live, or something like that, it was the little show that could combine a celebrity with music videos. Then, TRL happened. More guests started appearing. It even brought in a studio audience. Now the concept is dying. There's too much to do in a single hour. What kind of artist wants to see their hard work seen for just a few seconds so that the host can go back to talking to the next airhead who happens to find their way up to the studio? Case in point: the #2 video today, Kylie Minogue's "Love At First Sight" was seen for a lengthy 10 seconds today. 10! You know things were heading south when they moved it to 1pm. Who watches music videos at 1? Carson Daly has wisely busied himself with other things, not good things, but other things to partially flee the sinking ship. Now they have the idiot wheel of hosts taking turns to try to rise to prominence. Trust me, the blond white guy today? No chance to replace Carson. Fumbling words, looking lost, unable to think and react quickly.

Aside from Avril, the "big" story of the day was one of the ladies from 3LW was being forced out of the group. Oh my, watching TRL, you would have thought it was one of the signs of the apocalypse. The host said the whole world was abuzz with this news. The whole world? Come now, you've got to be kidding me.

In other news, the best band with a 40-ish lead female singer is coming to San Jose, Garbage! They're touring with the other band with a similar description (except their last CD and videos have just been awful, awful, awful), No Doubt. Set your calendars for November 14.

Garbage technology has come a long way since we just lay all our garbage on the street, waiting for someone to pick it up. Now everything is in its right movable bin. The funny part is, the contents of the recycling cart and the garbage cart go into the same truck. How do they know what's what?

A curse seems to have fallen on Santana Row, a $750 million project of shopping, townhomes, restaurants, and a 4-star hotel right across from the Century dome theatres, the Winchester Mystery House, and Valley Fair that was supposed to completely open September 19. (Only Crate & Barrel is open right now.) You see, when the first shovel of dirt was moved, the economy started to go down and the era of the dot-com was over. Then after longtime business Courtesy Chevrolet was forced out, one of the structures collapsed. And now comes today. The hotel, parking garage, and some stores are on fire creating a billow of smoke completely darkening that part of the city. Say adios to this center for a long time to come.

Surprises are a-plenty when I ride in a car with the parents. We're driving to lunch when the CD player switches over to some Vietnamese music. Then for some odd reason, my dad begins to talk about it, even comparing it to American music. So remember, while Vietnamese music speaks from the heart and is so beautiful, American music sounds like cats and dogs fighting against each other. Or it's drinking an espresso or cappucino compared to black coffee. Take your pick.

August 15 has come and passed, meaning the last day of school is over. Like clockwork though, sickness has traveled to my body. It was really bad Tuesday but has gotten slightly better before my test yesterday. Even now, there's a sore throat and a little cough. Oh, and irregular sleeping patterns. That's the worst. Look! I'm wide awake at 3am!

We're gonna change directions in the whole movie/life ranting business this one time to talk politics, another little passion of mine. Tonight, we'll talk California with the governor's race. It's a flawed campaign with dumb and dumber fighting to be in the governor's seat come November. As a Republican in Berkeley (yes, gasp at the thought), I'm partial in voting party lines, which means I'll vote Simon, not my first choice during the primaries. I voted Riordan. Sure, he was an old geezer, but he was a moderate who led L.A. past dark times. Instead, we got the lawyer/businessman, two jobs no one wants to be associated with anymore. As a result, all his backers have suddenly disappeared including Rudy Giuliani. To add injury to insult, his company was successfully sued for millions in damages. Simon wants no part of it and has tried to distance himself from it, but to no avail. Inevitably, his financial status became an issue, but he refused to release his taxes. All politicians seemingly do but Simon didn't, causing protesters to rise up in anger. When he finally did, he let inexperienced news reporters with no experts in sight to look at a decade's worth of documents for a couple of hours. Let's face it, he's flawed and he's inexperienced. "If he can't run his own company, how can we trust him to run the 5th largest economy in the world?" the commercial from Davis asks.

Indeed, I say. But now we turn to Gray Davis, the dumber of the two. I mean, come on, he still raises the roof every chance he gets. It wasn't cool the first time and Davis doing it makes it that much worse. He's had three years on the job, but he himself hasn't proven that he can run the 5th largest economy in the world. Back in 1998, he ran on a platform of education and he's certainly fulfilled. Standardized testing reigns in California. Money is tied in with the results. Shape up or ship out is the motto. Spending on education increased much faster than other spending. As a result, the state's kids may be well-funded (not compared to other states, but much better than before) but everyone else isn't. Right now, California faces the largest budget deficit in history, about $24 billion from a $100 billion budget. The fiscal year started 45 days ago and the stalemate in the Legislature doesn't look to be ending soon. Sure, Davis can lay the blame on them but he hasn't done anything to help either. Who knows? We might go back to issuing IOU's like in the early '90s. While all this is going on, Davis continues to fund-raise for his own governor's campaign and a very remotely possible presidential campaign two years from now. Figures show he's got $30 million in the bank while Simon, who's cutting half his staff to save money, has only $5 million. As a result, Davis keeps running attack ad after attack ad. But where does fund-raising stop and political decision-making begin? An allegation exists where the now-defunct Tosco refinery donated some money to the Davis campaign and a week later, a state agency appointed by Davis gave Tosco a few more pollution credits. There's also the mess with Oracle and the new database system they were supposed to make for the state. Oracle also gave him a bunch of money. Then, who can forget the power blackouts? Instead of preparing for it, he took a reactionary stance and made up policy after policy including binding the state into expensive power contracts, most of which aren't needed anymore with cheap power running rampant throughout the state now. And the power companies gave him money too!

Last month, the race was a tie. Now, the Washington Times reports Davis has built a huge 17-point lead over Simon. While the election is three months away, things are looking dim for us Republicans. But as long as they raise those UC fees after I graduate, I'll be okay whoever's in the governor's office.

Yes, Star Trek: Nemesis hasn't even come out yet, but the DVD better have tons of deleted scenes in it. News has it that they've shot a 3 hour movie, unheard of among Star Trek movies. It means they'll need to cut at least an hour from it. One of the scenes includes Wesley Crusher at Troi and Riker's wedding, frankly one of the more annoying characters in Next Gen lore but also barely seen since he went off to Starfleet Academy.

XXX
Curiously, when you start walking out of this flick, you hear the words "none of this makes any sense" during the song blaring over the speakers. How perfectly does it sum up XXX? Very well. Vin Diesel plays Xander, a no-fear type of guy out on parole. When the NSA needs help in getting the 411 about a new biological weapon, Samuel L. Jackson, in his worst role to date, with a ridiculous unexplained scar no less, calls up a group of people including Xander for the task. Predictably, the group is weeded down to one, Xander. With his reputation and interest in cars, he successfully infiltrates Anarchy 99 and finds out its leader has acquired rockets that can spread gas and kill a city's population instantly.

It's loud and pointless. The powers that be turn this film into stunt after stunt after stunt. It never gets a chance to really develop its characters, something that needs to be done since they're probably going to do many sequels. Sure, it's an action film but they seem to dumb it down so much it's simply one-dimensional thinking. It all becomes quite over the top and so ridiculous that you can't help but laugh. As for the stars, this is Diesel's vehicle. Everyone's focused on him. As a result, Jackson seems to be in the way and beautiful bad-girl Asia (3 syllables!) Argento does nothing but stand there. The stunts speak for themselves and the gadgets, while few and far between, look cool with the exception of the bazooka at the end which is just a camcorder with a pole attached to it. 1.5 stars

The best new show from 1999 was Sports Night, a little-watched show on ABC. It was the show Aaron Sorkin did before The West Wing. While well-done, it got cancelled. Now, it's coming out on DVD November 5. Thanks to the Digital Bits for the image.

Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams
Them people from the first Spy Kids movie are at it again with this sequel, a waste of time the first time and a waste of time this time. Apparently, some device that can make electronic devices to not work is coveted by the new head of the spy organization. Stung by the emergence of new kid spies, our two main characters switch assignments secretly to retrieve it, where mayhem ensues.

First of all, this island has no lost dreams. What the heck are they talking about? Second, having the spies turn against each other defeats the supposed purpose of showing off gadgets to solve mysteries. Third, see the previous sentence. If they go to a mystery island where there's no such thing as electronics, what's the point of Spy Kids? Fourth, there's an action sequence in which skeletons are fighting Carmen and Juni. It looks so fake that the sequence in Jason and the Argonauts looked more realistic. Fifth, having Ricardo Montalban and Holland Taylor as the grandparents was a good idea, but they're wasted in this film. Sixth, what happened to George Clooney? Seventh, if Gregorio (Antonio Banderas) was originally supposed to be head of OSS as it said on the teleprompter, why didn't anyone say something? Eighth, who would elect Christopher McDonald (the villainous golfer from Happy Gilmore) as president? Ninth, it may have been in the first movie and I didn't remember. What are those fans supposed to do when the spies point it at someone? Tenth, how does something that renders electronic devices useless kill people? Eleventh, if the OSS is so high-tech, why can't they detect people hacking into their system? Carmen gets Juni back into the OSS when he gets fired simply by hacking. They get Gary and Gerti transferred to the Gobi desert by hacking. What kind of security does this place have? Twelth, how was it that it reused jokes from earlier comedies this summer? There's that shittake mushrooms joke from Goldmember and the lengthy trip down to the secret underground lair from Undercover Brother. Finally, there's so much more but everything I know is only the beginning. 1 star

I happened to stop by the CNN home page this morning and find the big words BREAKING NEWS plastered on top of the page. With my 56K connection, I'm left to wonder. What happened? Has there been another disaster? Did the president slip and fall while eating a pretzel on vacation? Has Al-Qaida been eliminated? What? None of that happened. Apparently, Domino's is considering charging a buck for pizza delivery.

Eight Legged Freaks
Hitless David Arquette strikes out again in this feature about spiders taking over a small town in Arizona. The star of such classics as See Spot Run and Ready to Rumble comes back to his childhood home just in the nick of time to see spiders at the local spider farm mutated by nearby river contamination and run loose in the streets. Predictably, the rest of the movie shows a bunch of running and shooting and little story in between. It also stars Scarlett Johansson of Ghost World fame, reduced to the role of rebellious but helpless daughter of the pretty and cool Kari Wuhrer, who people will (or will not) remember from the old MTV game show Remote Control. Nerds and geeks alike will remember her from the last years of the Fox/Sci-Fi channel show Sliders. She's the sheriff who leads the town against the spiders.

The commercials had this one comparing itself to Tremors, but this my friends is no Tremors. For some odd reason, that struck the odd balance of being realistic, smart, creepy, and humorous all in the same movie. But like Reign of Fire, Eight Legged Freaks dumbs down the movie to simply kill or be killed. Heck, Tremors' two awful sequels are slightly better than this. Storylines designed to make this a little complex are handled in a line or two. "I know you love me but let's kill that spider first." or "Hey, there's the gold that will save this town." Not actual lines from the movie, but it certainly wasn't meant to be memorable either. Besides, the spiders weren't too realistic. You could really tell they're fake. I will give it credit for making fun of itself. It is such a ridiculous idea to fathom that it has to be somekind of self-parody. Plus, I don't understand how if fire didn't kill them earlier in the movie, it does later in the movie. Was it because with the gas, it made the fire ..., what, hotter??? Please! But all in all, it's awful, boring, and awfully boring. 1.5 stars

See, I was right about the mole. Too bad nobody was watching.

Tonight, we find out who the mole is on The Mole: The Next Betrayal. My money's on Bill. Why? In the opening credits, there was a message saying "The mole is Bill." As for who wins the money, it seems Dorothy cares about the game more than Heather, so Dorothy will win. Find out tonight at 9.

Happy Birthday Jeanette! You didn't ask for any, but your present is on the way. See ya at the party.

My siblings and I went to Sizzler last weekend. Ever since the company went bankrupt, leaving the franchises to carry the Sizzler name, they've been slowly trying to bring it back to respectability. But my brother noticed it has become the anti-restaurant in the process. First, what's the first thing you see when you walk in? The bathrooms. Who would put bathrooms at the entrance? After you pass them, you're confronted by a line in front of the menus. You want your own menu? Tough. It's on the wall. Before you even get your first bite, you must choose and pay within minutes of stepping through the door. Once you're done, you have to carry your drinks and find your own table. What kind of dining is this? If it was a buffet, I'd understand but they promote that they are a restaurant, because after all, you get more than what you pay for.

Before things get normal, they get weirder. The salad bar is supposed to be its pride and joy. Yet they serve chicken wings and tacos in the salad bar? Find that at Fresh Choice! Remember that receipt you got documenting what you ordered? Say bye-bye. The server needs it to know what you ordered. Once this happens, food is actually served to you! You would think you'd have to cook it yourself or at the very least, pick it up yourself but no. Then it's on to dessert. What dessert? There's only one option. The non-dairy lactose-free soft serve ice cream with your choice of toppings of course. They don't even have real M&M's, they're fake ones.

Yes, Sizzler has been doing this for years. It's just that I hadn't noticed until now. I'm not complaining either. The food's pretty good.

Signs
I'll try to be as spoiler-free as possible. Mel Gibson stars as a former minister who finds crop circles in the middle of his field. Predictably, his family, two kids and his brother, is freaked out. Soon, through the magic of television, they found out similar circles are being seen throughout the world, mainly India and Mexico. What follows is a sequence of events leading up to an invasion by unknown aliens.

Director M. Night Shyamalan has only made two movies before. Now all three follow his distinctive style of focusing on single objects in the picture, studying them, and moving on as if they were pieces to a puzzle. The Sixth Sense was his best effort at this because I was just blown away by the ending the first time I saw it. Unbreakable worked on a lesser extent but the revelation that Samuel L. Jackson played the villain justified doing it. In Signs, there really isn't any payoff to paying attention. It's basically all laid out there, as any traditional movie would. Sure, he does have flashbacks at the end but you have the feeling of what they're going to do instead of being totally surprised.

Also, when Shyamalan does this "focused directing," it makes things awfully S-L-O-W. It gets frustrating sometimes, more so in the beginning when they were setting up the story. As the movie progressed, there were some frights and the movie got more exciting.

Lots of questions remain unanswered pertaining to these aliens. Because Shymalan chooses to focus in on a house of people watching CNN, we'll never get to know, making it a missed opportunity. Curiousity drives the human race and it would have been satisfying to find out what these aliens wanted but again we never find out.

Now about that ending. In Unbreakable, its main characters had an Achilles Heel. It's no different for these aliens. What it is in this movie is so dumb, I thought Mars Attacks' lousy music as a way to defeat those aliens was just as plausible.

The movie does frighten and it is suspenseful but I think it's unsatisfying, especially compared to the caliber of films Shyamalan has made and is capable of making. 2.5 stars

My aunt and uncle celebrated their 25th anniversary last night. Leading up to it, they talked on and on about hiring a live band for the young people at the party. After watching their performance, I must say, I will never have a live band perform for me anywhere. This band, named "Passion", wasn't bad. Its just that their performance really stood out by the antics of the male lead singer, who bears a striking resemblance to that bassist from No Doubt. He was an energetic fellow, always a few notches ahead on the energy scale compared to the audience and his fellow band members; possibly high, possibly gay, I'm not sure. While barely any of the young people danced (they were quickly heading out the door or took refuge in the back of the restaurant), my sister and I couldn't help from laughing by this guy's gestures and pointing. Even the band chuckled a little as if he was the new guy. (Maybe he was.)

After that, we headed home. Remember when I ranted about Speed becoming an American Movie Classic? They've now added Short Circuit to their list of movies. Now it certainly wasn't a classic. It did have a robot and I did like the movie, but it ain't a classic. For one thing, it stars Steve Guttenberg.

After a yum yum dim sum lunch at Dynasty, my family and I ventured next door to the Grand Century mall, basically a big holding place full of Vietnamese stores. If you've been to the Little Saigon mall down in SoCal in Westminster, you'll know what I mean. Sadly, its only non-asian store, a sporting goods shop, closed down and turned into an arcade for the little kiddies. Though there's probably 40-50 stores in the place, like any group of asian stores, each store can fit into one of 4 categories.

1. Self-image enhancement: Jewelry stores and clothing stores. Always a must. What? 7 jewelry stores within 5 steps of each other?? That's competition at its best!
2. Posessions for a particular age: Cell phones for the fobby asians who want to look cool in their Civics, CDs for the adults complete with way too big speakers in front of the store playing the music, and cheap imported toys for the kids.
3. Restaurants: If you know me, I have no problem with food. But again, there's too many in one area. Not only is there a food court, there's also Dynasty like I mentioned, a sushi restaurant, a grill opening up (the sign says: GRAND OPENING ...soon), two other Vietnamese restaurants on the other side of the mall and a Tung Kee right next door.
4. Health care/herb stores: Either they're selling $50 pills or you're walking into a store with a strange herb smell.

Sure, there are exceptions. There was a place selling cookware. Another sold plants. The weirdest was a simple table out front selling green waffles. My family's still stumped on that one. As I left, I saw another asian center opening up. Its name? King Egg Roll Plaza. What a name.

Austin Powers in Goldmember
Austin Powers is back with the third movie in the series and as the movie plainly shows, he certainly has his mojo back. In this installment, Austin's father doesn't show up for his knighting and we soon find out he's been taken by Goldmember for reasons unknown. Back in 1975, Austin finds Goldmember, his dad, and Foxxy Cleopatra played by Beyonce Knowles of Destiny's Child fame. They all travel back to the present where we eventually find out Goldmember is working with Dr. Evil to end the world by tractoring in an asteroid. As in the last two movies, Austin saves the world through unseen twists and turns and certainly in style.

Why Michael Caine is even in this movie is still a mystery. Not only does his character have little to do, it could also easily be written out for it would have made a speedier movie. But the thing worth noting is the freshness factor. The second movie was plagued by retreads of the same jokes of the first one, still the best of the series. Though old jokes can still be seen (the duet between Dr. Evil and Mini-Me, "Scotty-don't"), those jokes were still funny and were kept to a minimum. The movie in a movie with various star cameos was pure genius. If only the fourth installment had that cast... Speaking of the cast, no word on what happened to Heather Graham or Dr. Evil henchman Will Ferrell. But all in all, a worthy installment suitable for many viewings. 3 stars

Before I post a review on the great Austin Powers movie, did any Berkeleyans happen to read the review in the Daily Cal today? You didn't? Maybe it was because half of it was blabbering about something about comedy franchises, mainly in telelvision, since he never mentions another movie, which Austin Powers is. Nobody needs to read the fact that you watched a lot of television as a little boy and just happened to continue that lifestyle to college. That's what the Internet is for.

This link on the Yahoo! web page intrigued me today. NY Man Sues, Claiming Fast Food Ruined His Health

Now, I'm no nutritionist but can one really make this claim? If people like this guy are as dumb as the things he says out of his mouth, maybe he can. Consider these gems:

"I didn't find out how bad it was until 1999," he said.

"They said '100 percent beef.' I thought that meant it was good for you," the 272-pound Barber said. "I thought the food was OK."

And, "Those people in the advertisements don't really tell you what's in the food," he said. "It's all fat, fat and more fat. Now I'm obese."


On a lighter note, I happened to find out of a show where Master P and his son Lil Romeo shack up with some Southern white people before a concert. For some odd reason, this was a hilarious idea. Funniest of all, it ended with the whole family attending the concert, being the only white people there. Kudos to MTV. More odd-based celebrity live-ins should be made.

James Traficant has been kicked out of Congress. The fiery-mouthed representative who has skunk hair trimmed with a weed whacker, claims Janet Reno is a traitor, and always ends his speeches with the Star Trek words "Beam me up" was voted out 420-1 by his peers. Now, talk about this all you want but the one person who voted with him was Gary Condit. Go figure.

Watching the terrible arranged-date show Meet My Folks, I also find it weird that the whole show makes light of the parents' house, complete with a big sign above the door with their last name, only to see during the credits that it's not even their house.

Reign of Fire
Can you stand the Reign? I certainly couldn't. Apparently, twenty years from now, dragons will take over the world as humans' efforts to eradicate them destroy their own home. The rest of the movie is devoted to some English people evading the dragons' efforts to destroy their home and a crazy American's quest for the one male dragon left to fertilize all these eggs the female dragons have. In these types of movies, you'll score a lot of points by getting to know the villains. The most famous example of this was Godzilla. In all of his Japanese movies, sure he lay destruction on the poor people below, but he seemed to have a heart and we cared for him. When Hollywood got a hold of the movie, he was just a killing machine in New York. You never really get to know these dragons. You see them for a second, do their fiery work, and leave. It could have been something more but the filmmakers chose to emphasize on the plight of the poor humans, whose stories aren't very interesting to begin with. The only thing interesting was the cool skydiving sequence in an effort to capture a dragon. But that, like the concept of the movie, crashed and burned. 1.5 stars

Chris Webber should really stick to trying to get his lowly Kings an NBA championship instead of playing golf. You see, if you don't know about scoring in golf, shooting even means you're really good. +5 is a good score. Anything in double digits means you're a novice at best. Webber recently played in the Celebrity Golf Championship in Lake Tahoe. He shot +50 over par. Over 3 rounds, he shot 191 strokes over par. You see, folks, that is pathetic. On the bright side, he got $1,100 for his troubles.

Yesterday started innocently enough. Breakfast was being made, the newspaper was being read, the British Open was being shown on TV, and I was speaking in a passive voice. Then the doorbell rang. It was my friends Hai and Al. They mentioned something earlier in the week about tennis in the morning, so I agreed to join them. Little did I know the morning meant 9:00. So I hurriedly got ready and joined them in the big waiting game. My friend Steve came first, all the way from the east. Okay, it's Tracy, CA, but still a long ways away. Then a group of girls arrived, their friends not mine. I'm still not sure of who was who. Then, we hiked up the big hill to Valley Christian, a spoiled, I mean, private high school, to the tennis courts. First, you must understand I haven't played tennis since at least junior high, a long time ago. Predictably, tennis balls were flying over the fence and going every which way. By the end, though everyone seemed to have a little fun, the girls were tired and the guys were hungry. And we still had to walk back.

Later in the day, we went to the nearby Oakridge Mall, currently being ripped to shreds by new construction, highlighted by a new 20 screen theatre. It's certainly welcome by me, who doesn't want to smell that 10 year old popcorn at Capitol or want to travel 20 minutes to the nearest new theatres. Looking inside, you couldn't tell construction was going on. It was business as usual.

By the end, I was beat, which effectively canceled plans for the night. Heck, I'm still a little sore this morning. Through my fatigue, I did manage to find out Tiger Woods was out of the running at the British Open after shooting an 81. Damn, I really wanted to see him struggle too.

K-19: The Widowmaker
This is an awful movie saved by the suspenseful antics of Harrison Ford and Liam Neeson. Liam Neeson plays the captain of the K-19, a big Russian submarine them Americans don't know about. The crew is really close, with Neeson acting as its father. But soon, after construction slowdowns, inferior parts, and unsuccessful tests, it's decided that a new captain is needed. In comes Harrison Ford to save the day. Neeson would serve as the Executive Officer. Next, the champagne bottle doesn't break and the doctor dies before the test voyage begins. The crew unofficially names it the Widowmaker. Ford leads them near the Arctic Circle where after the successful launch of their missile, the nuclear reactor starts acting up. So, it's up to Ford and Neeson to control a bubbling reactor and a bubbling crew.

The plot holes are as wide as a hull breach. People just keep switching back and forth (alliances, languages, etc.) like they just don't care. The accents are awful. You can't tell who's American and who's Russian. Ford seems to play a mean captain and then suddenly becomes a nice one later on. I thought it was hilarious how he kept testing the crew over and over again. Neeson seems itching to take control of the ship but never makes a move, shown later on to be loyal to his captain. The boat, seen as inept in the first third of the movie, suddenly becomes an indestructible machine in its second act before it falls apart again. There are other things but it might spoil the movie so I won't divulge in the details. But even with its shortfalls, K-19 is very suspenseful and is helped along greatly by its two main characters, who carry the movie until its Private Ryan-type ending. 2.5 stars

When did Speed become a classic American movie? If its sequel joins it, I'm outta here.

Is there a Fight Club in Berkeley? Everywhere I turn, there's a guy with a messed up face. As long as they don't try to beat me up randomly, they'll be fine.

Watching those Emmy nominations this morning, it was good to see Tom O'Neil wasn't there. If you don't know him, he's an idiot who calls himself an awards expert. Think about it. How many people in their right mind would call themselves an awards expert? Well, Tom O'Neil of course. Heck, I can be an awards expert the same way I can be a movie critic.

4 nominations for Letterman's show.

Finally, Sports Night is coming out on DVD in November.

Green Dragon
Many years ago, my father got into the video store business. To get in, he bought one of a chain of video stores called US Home Video. Those of you who live in San Jose can pass by the remains, right past the Capitol Auto Row, now a "Leonardo's Photography." Anyway, he bought it from Sam Bui, who had two sons. Both of these sons, not surprisingly, got into the movie business. Their last movie was Three Seasons, where three different stories meshed into one discovery of the country of Vietnam. This time, they've made Green Dragon, a story about the Vietnamese refugees who came to Camp Pendleton near the end of the war. Another personal connection arises as my grandparents were just two of the 130,000 staying at the camp waiting for a sponsor. My parents would stay up north in Fort Ord in Monterey.

Like Three Seasons, this meshes a bunch of stories to try to tell what went on in this newly created community. One man has a nephew and niece to look after when he loses hope that their parents would make it to the camp. The same nephew befriends a cook through Mighty Mouse. (Forest Whitaker plays the cook. He really likes the Asian movies, doesn't he?) A concubine tries to live with the life she now leads. Patrick Swayze tries to keep the camp under control even after Saigon falls and the threats of Communism reaches his camp.

Overall, the mesh seems to work well. At times, it does seem a little preachy and the dialogue we hear comes off as a bit simple, but most Asian-American movies seem to be plagued with that. Besides, when was the last time you saw Patrick Swayze in a movie? I think it's amazing he can play something other than a dancer or a dead guy and pretty well at that. 3 stars

It's playing only in selected cities, so pray that your city has been selected. Locally, it's playing at the shoebox theatre Camera One in San Jose and the half-a-shoebox UA Berkeley.

Road to Perdition
Sam Mendes, the director, has only directed one other movie, the Oscar winner American Beauty. While well done, it wasn't remarkable. It simply dealt with the problems a middle-class family had in a seemingly calm setting of suburbia. In the same way, Road to Perdition is well done, but it too isn't remarkable.

Tom Hanks plays a hitman, Michael Sullivan, who works for Paul Newman's Tom Rooney. Hanks' son, Michael Jr., secretly tags along one rainy night and witnesses what his father does for a living. Soon, it's decided that leaving them out there is too much of a risk, forcing Rooney to take out a hit on the elder Sullivan. As a result, the two Michaels go around the country eluding the people after them, Jude Law in particular, and cutting off the gangsters' money supply.

Hanks gives a quality performance as usual. He really shows his range here as both good guy and bad guy. He's a devoted family man who seems to have a heart until you see him shoot people in cold blood. His scene with Jude Law in the diner is really good. The action moves along at a slow, calculating pace, making it seem longer than the two hours which really pass, to let you take in each scene because each one plays a vital role in the maturation of Michael Jr. or the plans of Michael Sr. It's quite a sight to see even if it left me a little bored and tired. 3 stars

Men In Black II
Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones are at it again, this time to send off the Light of Zartha to its home before it blows up and some evil chick gets her hands on it. Agent J needs some help and calls upon the agent who took care of this job 25 years ago, Agent K, played by Jones. Wait. Wasn't Jones' memory erased in the last movie? Well, yes. But, the MIB has the only machine that erases the eraser marks. But the villain, played here by the bra-and-panties-dressed Lara Flynn Boyle of Practice fame, takes over MIB headquarters. But, aha, there's another machine and they go use it. But wait, it doesn't help. He doesn't remember anything about the Light. Instead, he's left himself clues. Why not find another machine to undo this? Don't ask. But eventually, the movie centers on Rosario Dawson, who looks different in every movie she does. She is the key to unlocking this whole mess.

Unfortunately, this movie is a mess too. Sure, it's an entertaining mess, but still a mess. It's got a few laughs and I like Jones' presence in the film to fill the same role as Smith did in the first film, but it doesn't last long enough. Add to that, a hurried ending in a very short 80 minute film and you feel like you're craving more.

On a side note, what happened to that Fandango guy? They've replaced that entertaining commercial (Look out! Rah!) with some guy cutting in lines and closing an elevator on a couple only to find the movie sold out while the couple get in. Still, nothing beats the rhythmic clapping of the old opening for a Century movie. 2 stars

Whoever made those Build-a-Bear shops is just a genius. Every mall I go to, people are carrying around those boxes of bears. It's not enough that people buy them from the Vermont Teddy Bear Co. or win a really huge one at a carnival. No, you can make him yourself, dress him yourself, and give him a name! And it's all legal on paper. He is as legal as your own son or daughter. Just don't be claiming any tax exemptions or anything like that. Here's an idea! Do it at home! You'd probably have more fun than in the machine-created corporate driven store over there in Valley Fair or wherever. Plus, it's probably cheaper.

Okay, fine, the cotton stuffing contraption is kinda innovative. You wouldn't believe the number of times I had to stuff Sylvester the cat with cotton balls.

Now, in the same way I expect a bus to run every 10 minutes, I expect rap videos on BET. After all, it is Black Entertainment Television. Then why is there an N'Sync video as the #1 video in their countdown? If people want to listen to this, that's what MTV is for, at least when they even play videos.

Let me just rant a minute about the bus system here in Berkeley. If you know me, you'll know I'll be the first to defend the buses. It's a great time-saver for the carless types who don't want to walk, like me, and the homeless types who need to sleep one hour at a time. Plus, we can say to others we have our own driver while mumbling under our breath that he or she drives 60 people at a time on hard plastic seats with no seatbelts.

On a cool day like today, I wouldn't have minded some time outside, especially after the boiler room conditions we've had for a couple of days. But after a probably dismal performance on today's midterm, all I wanted to do was go home. I got out at 4:35 and waited for the bus. All types of buses passed by me while I was waiting. 52L...64...40L...64...7...64...7, etc. By 5:00 and hearing the chimes, I thought maybe I should just walk. But no! I've waited this long already. By 5:05, my math teacher passes me and asks, didn't you leave a half hour ago? Of course, he takes the 64 so his bus is already there. 5:15. The faint image of a bus appears. It's a 51! Then another. Then another. Then another. Like ants headed toward food, 4 buses, one full and three empty, were lined up and waiting. Finally, at 5:35, I'm home. One hour to go less than a half mile. Maybe I should walk more.

If you notice, today is July 11th. You know, 7/11. And 7-Eleven is celebrating it's 75th birthday. Congrats to them. The world is a better place with its Big Gulps and Slurpees.

A strange but accurate description of The Wizard of Oz, found reading the various newsgroups:

"Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first woman she meets and then teams up with three complete stangers to kill again."

What's wrong with David Kelley? He's messed up The Practice with his trademark "surprise" endings. (Like last Sunday, when the priest actually has the hots for the male defendant instead of being an innocent witness or the fact that Lindsay was found guilty of murder in the season finale.) Ally McBeal is dead. And watching Boston Public last night, he has a strange affection for mentioning 9/11 in every one of his episodes. Whether it's in a eulogy, an argument between teachers and the administration, a school report, whatever, he finds a way. I wouldn't be surprised if he wrote a song about it and made that teacher singing group sing it.

I also noticed they brought back that milk commercial about Aaron Burr, one of the funniest commercials there has ever been.

So who shot Alexander Hamilton in that famous duel?

Now I'm back from a hectic 5-day trip to the Southland. It was long and hot but overall enjoyable. We start Wednesday when a bloody-eyed me is awakened by the sounds of rustling outside my door. It's my family who are getting ready to leave. I complain it's 7 AM but they want to leave early. Joy, it's 6 hours in the car with them. Might as well get it over with. Yes, we leave at 10 but who's keeping track? As expected, I sleep again, only to wake up at our destination at 4 pm, Playa del Rey. It's a small and quiet community, save for the massive Los Angeles International Airport right next door. After a few illegal turns by my dad, I see my aunt waiting for us at her apartment and home for the next few days. We promptly leave for dinner in Santa Monica where we come upon The Lighthouse, a cheaper version of Todai. It's an okay place if you like that kind of stuff (stuff meaning sushi). After a stroll through the energetic Third Street Promenade, I'm beat and I'm down within the hour.

The next day is filled with the reason I'm here, a wedding. My cousin, Lo, is getting married to a guy named Lam. I haven't seen Lo or her two sisters in five or six years when they came up here to visit. Suffice it to say, we were complete strangers when we met. But my sister and I got along with the young one, heading off to be a Gaucho in Santa Barbara in the coming year. I know SoCal people are all different but the people I met at this ceremony either smoked, were drunk, or, in the case of some of my relatives my age, a bunch of fobby thugs. Luckily, the people I talked to were neither of the three, though some drunk a little. At last after two hours of waiting at the house in Glendale, I finally got a glimpse of the couple. They seemed pretty enough. After getting to know them a little better, it's obvious that the two don't seem right for each other. Don't get me wrong. I hope things are happy for them. But the groom seems quiet and has some really thick Drew Carey-type glasses. The bride is more outgoing and always speaks her mind. One friend shouted that she'll probably get married 3 or 4 more times until she's really happy. She didn't seem to disagree. After the ceremony, they were separated as the groom hung out with his family and the bride with her friends. It seemed like they didn't speak again until they met up for pictures a hour later. According to my parents, Lo was engaged to a Mexican guy but her parents didn't approve. As a result, this same Mexican guy introduced her to Lam and the rest is now history.

Length of time would be the mantra of the day because after the two-hour wait before, hourlong Vietnamese ceremony, the hourlong lunch, and the two-hour waiting period, it was time for the Buddhist ceremony. This wouldn't be the funnest of times since this could also last an hour with all of us standing up. Luckily I made it through and was rewarded with some good cream puffs only to wait another hour for the ride back. After spending dinner at the house, it was time to go back to my aunt's house. We called her up and she suggested taking a different route home since some madman started shooting up LAX and as a result closed all the roads. But since it was 9, I thought it would be okay. On the way home, remembering it was 4th of July, saw all the fireworks, both big and homemade. Driving down the 110 is really the way to go to see all of them.

Now because the reception wouldn't occur until Saturday, my parents decided that we should all go to Las Vegas on Friday and after a 4-hour drive, we were there. The place has certainly changed little since being there 3 years ago at the Bellagio. This time we stayed at the Monte Carlo, it's a small place contrary to what it looks like outside. Afterwards was a walk through the new Aladdin hotel, complete with a Great Mall-type carousel mall inside. That night, we got to see the magic of Lance Burton. It's a pretty entertaining show. It seems more adult than the audience it wants to cater to but the magic doesn't seem to live up to the hype.

And just like that, the Las Vegas portion was over since it was Saturday and we needed to head to Malibu for the reception. It's in a beach club there equipped to handle about 200 people even though about 300 showed up. The couple seem to be much happier this time, though I heard there was a big fight just a few hours earlier. Good food. Had a big lobster claw. It was a buffet-style dinner so we all had to line up. Remember when I said the club handled 200? Well, the caterer only brought food for 200, so good thing I ran to the line. After the entertainment (the bride shows her version of a J. Lo video, her sister shows a Behind-the-music-type show on the couple, and dancing), that basically brought an end to the trip. The next day, we headed home. Why is it people were only driving 60 on Interstate 5? What's wrong with these people?

I won't be posting for a few days because I will be off to SoCal for a family trip for my cousin's wedding. Considering the many relatives I have down there and the fact that we haven't been there in almost 4 years, I can expect to visit many cities down there, all the while calling out freeways with the word "the" before each of them. (Cause we all know we need to take THE 5 and then THE 405 and then THE...etc.) and lamenting the need for more jewelry stores and pho restaurants in the Vietnamese strip malls. Quo vadimus, you ask? Well, I count 10 cities planned: Bakersfield, Playa Del Rey, Glendale, Westminster, Chino, Los Angeles, San Diego, Thousand Oaks, Malibu, and Las Vegas. So see you on the flip side next week.

Make comments in the meantime. Sorry if it's down. It's been buggin' all day.

Scooby Doo
I'll give props to the costume designer. Other than that, this movie is boring. Wastes the talents of everyone there, though some didn't have much to begin with. 1 star

Bad Company
Chris Rock and Anthony Hopkins star in this action comedy that isn't as bad as the title suggests. But don't get me wrong, it's not good either. Rock plays Jake Hayes, a ticket dealer thrust into the CIA after his agent twin brother is killed. Hopkins is forced to prepare him in a matter of days to finish the current job. What results is a decent story. What's wrong is the people playing the roles. Rock plays it as a funnyman when he needs to be more serious. Hopkins plays it straight-faced when he needs to be a little looser. While it is a decent story, some parts of it could have been excised or worked on a bit more, like the involvement of Jake's girlfriend Julie in the movie, but when the main selling point of the movie is Chris Rock and Anthony Hopkins, who cares about the story? 2 stars

About a Boy
Hugh Grant stars in another one of these single guy finds true love movies that has filled up his career. Frankly, it's getting a bit tiring. But this gives us at least a little twist before its pre-determined ending. His name is Will, a very old bachelor at 38 who goes around dating and dumping. Currently, he's picking up women at a single parents group. His life is full of nothing, living off the royalties of his father's Christmas song. While he's walking with a single mother, he befriends her neighbor's son, Marcus. Marcus dearly loves his mother who is going through some rough times, culminating with an attempted suicide. During his mother's recovery, Marcus and Will become close friends. Soon, both realize they're growing up and becoming separated from the life they loved which results in their separation and it takes time for them to comprehend their lives aren't complete without the other.

Fundamentally, it's a film of growing up for both Marcus, in the actual growing up sense, and Will, growing up in society. The film strikes a good balance in comedy and drama, a good change for its directors, the Weitz brothers, best known for the gross-out American Pie movies. Toni Collette, Marcus' mother, also has a good role, as does Rachel Weisz, though she isn't seen too much in the film. 2.5 stars

Minority Report
Tom Cruise stars in this outstanding piece of work by legendary director Steven Spielberg. After A.I. debuted last year, I had my doubts going into this one. After all, A.I. had Stanley Kubrick behind it while this one had a guy named Dick. (Philip Dick wrote the original short story.) Spielberg basically managed to ruin A.I. but luckily he does not do the same here. Cruise stars as John Anderton (probably renamed from Anderson to avoid the calls of Mr. Anderson in a Matrix-like Agent voice) who runs the Pre-Crime unit of the District of Columbia. Using the minds of three pre-cogs, they use them to predict future murders. As a result, there hasn't been a murder since its inception. Soon enough, with an upcoming election to turn it nationwide and a federal attorney played by Colin Farrell breathing down his neck looking for flaws in the system to add on to the pressure, the newest crime (#1109) involves Anderton himself killing Leo Crow, a man he's never heard of. Now he's a man on the run because everybody runs. No longer can he trust anyone and as a result, takes it upon himself to find out what the heck is going on, including tracking down a minority report, a recording as it is seen through the mind of the one-pre-cog who sees things a bit differently than the other two.

This is one riveting movie. Even at two and a half hours, it did not seem long enough. It starts out with a bang with crime #1108 and continues its lively pace all the way through its chases and twists and turns. Its addition of humor in the middle act makes for a nice departure to the depressing scenes we've been watching. There were strong performances throughout including Cruise and Samantha Morton as Agatha, the lead pre-cog. Two plot questions: How much time passes between the conlcusion of the first crime and the discovery of the pre-crime of John Anderton? Apparently, it's enough time for Colin Farrell's Danny Witwer to grow a moustache and beard. And when Anderton roams around the Pre-crime complex looking for clues, why is he allowed to? You would think after he's been charged with a crime, they would revoke his privileges inside the complex but no. They even let his ex-wife in later through the same means. For a place set 50 years in the future, I guess security protocols don't exist. But these are very minor questions to a very exciting film. 4 stars (With a 4 star average, it becomes the new champion of Star Search!)

Wasn't I right about Brazil?

Here's a friendly warning from your electric company. In advance of the release of Like Mike, they are warning the kids and the kids at heart to not get their shoes stuck in electrical wires in an attempt to be struck by lightning and then play like Michael Jordan. Instead, they warn us, we might die. Umm, who do they think we are?

Mr. Deeds
This movie can't really be critiqued normally since no Adam Sandler movies are works of art by any stretch of the imagination. Instead, it needs to compared to the films he has done in his "storied" career. This one has Sandler playing Longfellow Deeds, a well-liked pizza guy from the small town of Mandrake Falls in New Hampshire. He just happens to be related to a wealthy man who just died. Since no heir could be found, he is the sole beneficiary of 49% of the media company he owned, worth $40 billion. He travels to a place very unfamiliar to him, New York City, to claim this new-found fortune. There, he meets Babe Bennett, a lady in distress who's really undercover for her TV show to get the scoop on him. She's played by Winona Ryder. (Sorry, no references to shoplifting in the movie but there is a part where she says she is broke.) But as cliches go, in the process of getting gossip about him, she falls for him. But before she can confess, Deeds finds out through the TV show, basically running him out of town and in the process handing over the company to the CEO who's hellbent on selling the company not just for the money, but for a shitload of money.

So as far as Sandler movies go, this one's middle of the road. It's not as hilarious as Billy Madison or Happy Gilmore, but it seems on par with The Waterboy and The Wedding Singer and it is certainly better than Little Nicky. The editing is terrible. Scenes end in awkward places, often staying with the action seconds after the joke has ended. There were many good and funny scenes but not enough to make me choke on my popcorn. And as always, things turn out happy for Sandler in this Happy Madison production. 2.5 stars

I let you know about the new teaser of Lord of the Rings II last night. Tonite on ET and the web, the new Star Trek X: Nemesis teaser is being shown. Should be good, both teaser and movie, becuase for some odd reason, when Star Trek goes dark (First Contact, DS9), it gets very good. Plus, it's an even numbered movie. The streak won't die. In the Bay Area, ET airs at 7:30 and 10pm on KRON4. The teaser is uploaded at 7:30 pm PT at startrek.com also.

The Cal-Berkeley football team has been penalized for some academic infractions. Apparently, they won't be allowed to go to a postseason bowl game because a professor allowed two players to pass a course (Ethnic Studies 21AC and UGIS 56 for those Berkeley kids reading) they really did not pass. Considering Cal hasn't been to a bowl game in 6 years, I guess it's not much of a penalty, is it? Let's face it, a 1-10 record to a bowl game doesn't happen in a year.

Heard on The Practice rerun today:
Judge: Bail?
Bobby: Yes, my client is a respected member of the community and poses no flight risk.
Judge: But he poses a health risk. He goes around shooting people in the head.

I wasn't a big fan of the first Lord of the Rings but after seeing this teaser to the second feature, The Two Towers, this one may actually live up to the hype. Catch it on movie-list.com while you can cause I think it's up earlier than the studio wanted to.

Really, how do you lose $3.8 billion?

I just heard Berkeley will offer a course on blogging. Maybe they can mix it with another topic: how blog is not even a real word. (Yet.) Those English majors might have a field day. Still, it sounds interesting. More and more journalists are using blogs nowadays. Why not teach people how to use it? True, it's not that hard. Look at this lame thing you're reading right now. But they get an A for effort. If only I had grades for effort...

After watching Mole II, a show nobody watches but still fascinating to me, I managed to catch the little summary rundown of that other show people are talking about, American Idol. Boy, those people are terrible. I'm sure they are talented and all but nothing beats the real thing and they aren't even close. You'd think a storied institution of broadcasting such as Fox would bring out the best and brightest of America in American Idol. Instead, they got pretty faces with half talent who are so hyped up we're forced to believe they have any real talent.

Now to catch a good show, Scrubs.

When my parents bought a new Accord a month ago, I knew the days of driving the old van were numbered. It's not even that old. It's a 1991 Plymouth Voyager. Sure, it leaked a lot of oil, enough to give it an oil change everyday. It smelled like it was burning whenever it was driven. Flames were seen shooting out of the muffler. It couldn't go faster than 50 mph, a big no-no in the California freeway car culture. So after 11 years and 230,000 miles, it was given away to Goodwill. May it enjoy a better life in the hands of the needy. Watch out for those Chinese food stains in the back. O, and the sticky cup holders. Or for that matter, the broken cup holders.

From what I hear, they also took away our plagued TV set too. It was always on but it was off. You had to shake the TV constantly to get a picture out of it and that's no way to watch TV. This from a Sony, too.

Speaking of TV, if you live on the west coast, or Alaska and Hawaii for that matter, you can catch Triumph making fun of people in the Star Wars line. It's on Late Night with Conan O'Brien in 15 minutes (NBC). Yes, you can download the skit but it's better to watch it on the television. For everyone else, it's also on at 3:05 am on most NBC stations next Tuesday morning.

Feeling half-awake, I managed to make myself presentable and make an appearance on campus for one of those classes that Berkeley is famous for. I figured it would be boring since the teacher would proably spend the hour talking about himself. Boy was I surprised. Not only did he talk about himself, he managed to put in some material for the class into the lecture while feeling less awake than I was. Literally, he was speaking one word every three seconds. Plus, it was stuff I already learned. So, I muddled through it in the back of the class talking to the only person I recognized.

As I walked out, I happened upon my friend from high school, Lily. She and her roommate Sam moved to the lower west side (read: Dwight and Shattuck). So I was dragged along to see the place. It's nice but it's far away from campus. It's as far as my place.

It's amazing how much the place changes over a short month. The old Kragen place has turned into a thrift store/Magic Johnson clinic. Maybe Magic himself will make an appearance? More importantly, the Burger King by the BART station has closed down! Oh the humanity!

Growing up on subtitled Asian movies, I've been particularly disappointed with the new batch that have been coming out in recent years. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon wasn't particularly exciting. Yes, it was a solid movie, but it wasn't something I hadn't seen before. Hollywood is forcing John Woo to direct some pretty crappy films; Hard Target and Windtalkers come to mind. (I haven't watched Windtalkers yet, but the trailer seems to speak for itself.) But while I was locked down at my uncle's house, I happened to catch a very entertaining Korean film named Bichunmoo. The plot could use a little work. People appear and reappear for no apparent reason. Weird things happen at some climactic moments which aren't explained. But its basic plot of two men fighting for a girl, the "good" guy the holder of the Bischun secrets and, inexplicably, two names, is executed well enough that it goes along with the action and swordplay scenes it provides.

After a month off at home, Berkeleyan life begins again.

My favorite baseball team, the Baltimore Orioles were playing in San Francisco this weekend. It was a sight to see since they probably won't be in the city for another six years though there is always Oakland. While watching a whole Giants game for the first time in ages, I became fascinated with watching Barry Bonds. I don't know, but it just seems like he doesn't care anymore. Sure, he hits the home runs and he plays the game, but there's doesn't seem to be too much effort. (Sorry JJ.) Truly, I wouldn't have been surprised if he walks the bases when he hits home runs. When he scored the run today, it looked as though he was jogging his way to third base and because of this slow trot, he needed a second or two to decide whether to go home or not. Luckily, he did and made it. Other than that, I really didn't see any more jogging. Just lots of walking. It's not golf, Barry! As for the game, a strong game by pitcher Jason Johnson allowed the Orioles to win 3-1. Big Livan Hernandez was tagged with the loss. The O's took two of three from the Giants. Go O's.

My sister asked me why Vanessa Carlton would only walk a thousand miles to be with her boyfriend. "So like if he lived farther than Denver, she wouldn't walk at all?" Well, it's better than the Proclaimers, who would only walk 500 miles with an option to walk 500 more.

And wouldn't it be funny if instead of Hoobastank's "Running Away", they were jogging away?

Like most Americans, I was asleep at 4 am while the soccer team went down in defeat to the Germans in the World Cup. Man, just when I was starting to like soccer again. I do have to admit that those South Koreans can be a pretty wild bunch. Nice to see them in the semifinals even though they'll probably lose to Germany. My pick? Brazil wins it all.

Went to Olive Garden tonite for dinner. They have the slogan that when we're there, we're family. Let's see...waiting an hour for any sort of food to arrive. People who just don't care or even want to talk to you. Lots of yelling in the background. Food that doesn't taste right. Yep, seems like family all right.

Let me get this straight. In Colorado, a forest ranger burns a letter from her ex-husband, accidentally setting a wildfire big enough for the governor to say the whole state is burning. She tries to hide her tracks by saying she was putting out an illegal campfire, yet she confesses two days later. But when she's in court, she pleads not guilty. Huh?

Even though he failed a lie detector, some guy has said terrorists are planning to strike Las Vegas on the 4th of July. Guess where I'll be 4th of July?

I found myself watching King Ralph today. I have to wonder if George W. watched this before he was inaugurated as president.

Tiger Woods won the U.S. Open recently. Writers are now calling him the best golfer ever, to which I say bull. Jack Nicklaus will forever be the greatest golfer ever, simply because he had competitors Tiger doesn't have today. Nicklaus had Palmer, Trevino, Watson, Irwin, and Player among others. Most of whom now have nicknames. Tiger has what, Sergio Garcia? A guy who needs to regrip a billion times before he swings a club? Phil Mickelson, a lefty who can never pull it out? David Duval, a guy who wears sunglasses on cloudy days? See, none of these come close. Plus, Jack had 18 major championships to Tiger's 8. Soon, Tiger may very well pass that mark. But bear in mind, Jack was second and third place in these majors numerous times. He won the Masters when he was 46! Tiger it seems to me has never been a second or third place nor will he be playing competitvely at this level even a decade later. So unless Tiger wins like 15 or 20 more times or actually accomplishes the Grand Slam twice, Jack will truly be the greatest.

The Bourne Identity
This film stars Matt Damon as Jason Bourne, a man with a lot of holes physically and mentally. You see, he's been shot a couple of times and he's suffering from amnesia. After getting back on his feet with the help of some fishermen, he tries to find out who he is. An account number found in a laser pointer attached to his hip takes him to a bank, where he finds passports, money, and a gun. The CIA wants him dead after Bourne's mission from a couple of weeks earlier fails. They track him to this bank where the game of cat and mouse begins. Bourne befriends Marie, a cash-strapped woman played by the great Franka Potente of Run Lola Run fame, who is willing to drive him to Paris for $20,000. Soon, she finds herself a target of this chase and they go together to elude the various CIA agents chasing them.

The story is smart and intelligent. It shows not all summer flicks need to be dumbed down to a level that everyone can understand. Probably not intentional, but I laughed at all the references Bourne makes about running when talking to Marie. But what's lacking in this summer atmosphere of movies is the action. We see glimpses of it, but nearly not enough in a movie that hypes itself as one. It also goes along at a snail's pace. A device by the director to discover memories with Bourne? Who knows? But it's a little frustrating all the same. Also, it's not fully explained as to what Bourne actually is. Cyborg? Universal Soldier? (What other Van Damme movies have there been?) Plus, one has to wonder why Julia Stiles is here playing a bit part. Nevertheless, it's a thinking man's movie as we along, with Jason, find out what the heck is going on. 2.5 stars

Along with watching the DVD's, a friend of mine has gotten me hooked to the game Pyramids on Yahoo. Ever played it before? While the game is simple, putting cards in order, it's these kinds of games that are addictive. In my case, they've included Diamond Mine, Collapse, and The Price is Right on Gamesville.

What is it with these simple games getting reborn nowadays? You know, the kinds of games that could be played on my old Sega Master System I has new life in the form of an online game. ("Hey, it's Pong with chat!" stands out, but for some reason, it's not at the site anymore) Weird, but hey, it kills time and the eyes.

You can always learn stuff or find something interesting in the newspaper. For example, a couple of people are suing Britney Spears for illegally using the song Oops, I Did It Again. But why? It's a dumb song. The only reason it's popular is because Britney Spears is singing it.

Also, did you know you can fold a $20 bill in such a way that you can actually see the World Trade Center buildings burning? Check out this site and see for yourself. I can't. I don't have a $20 bill.

Graduation is upon the kids at my former high school today. Another group of people walking down the mythical aisle of ascension. I'm planning on going even if the people who knew me two years ago have no idea who I am. At least for the first 15 minutes. Then I'm outta there. There's never enough parking and I wanna beat the traffic.

My sister's two years away from graduating. But to be on the safe side, we'll call it 3 years away.

In the meantime, I'm stuck here at home. I'm currently watching a couple of people replace the tile and linoleum downstairs and being the only one at home, you get the picture. That doesn't leave too much time to feed my addiction on movies. I've been watching the DVD's instead, waiting for better movies to come out at the theatre. How aren't some of the movies interesting? Find out later. I'll compile a list. I would like to say Ghost World is an interesting movie, contrary to everyone around me who says it's a boring piece of crap or words to that effect.

If I had to rethink my college plans after high school, I probably would have been a dentist. This after a visit to the dentist yesterday. I hadn't been there for a year so I was expecting the worst. Before I go, my parents told me my dentist, a nice old guy, had retired. Since it was a dentist group, we'd be assigned to some other dentist there. Wow. This new dentist seemed to be trying to get money left and right. He had already gotten to my dad and sister. My sister has four cavities, not unexpected. She's not too responsible for her teeth plus she lost her retainers. That's hundreds of dollars already. They told my dad he'd need to get a root canal and some crowns before they could clean his teeth. What a bunch of bull. My dad responds that it doesn't hurt anywhere to which the dentist says, "Really? It should." With this kind of dentistry, he must be a very rich man.

Then, he gets to me. Since I hadn't been there in a year, they make me fill out a form. On it, it asks if I have had any of a list of 50 ailments in my life. I put a line through all the no boxes. But the hygenist tells me I have to check every box. Geez. The dentist comes in, obviously middle-aged but seemingly inexperienced. Says I have perfect teeth, albeit with a little plaque, but nothing to worry about. So at least he knows perfect teeth when he sees it. As for identifying other problems, he might be just seeing green instead of holes.

Do you remember what they call a person who flunks medical school? A dentist.

Family parties such as the one my family had today can have its pros and cons. Let's look at some of them as it applied to this party.

Pro: Lots of people I recognize and vice versa
Con: Not many people my age causing sheer boredom throughout

Pro: Lots of good food to eat
Con: I get the job of unclogging the toilets

Pro: When I do get bored, I'm at my home so I can find something to do
Con: After a late night, I'm forced to wake up early to set things up

Pro: It's a nice sunny day for a party
Con: We're indoors, there's no AC, and it's hot as hell

I'll try to think of more later.

Disaster movies are coming at us left and right. The Sum of All Fears came out last week as a full-blown drama that threatens Baltimore. Bad Company opens today as a dramedy (or comma) that threatens Jersey City, New Jersey. But this review of Atomic Twister will have you believe this tale of a nuclear power plant that threatens to meltdown half of Tennessee is a full-blown comedy. To be shown on TBS on Sunday night, it sounds like must-see for a few laughs in this unintended comedy. Read the review by Phil Rosenthal of the Chicago Sun-Times here.

The MTV Movie Awards always provides a couple of hours of laughs every year followed by hundreds of more hours through the number of times it gets re-run. This year was no exception. But with most likely early teens watching, I was surprised with the amount of sex content in the telecast. I'm not complaining but it didn't seem appropriate. From visiting the upside-down Spider-Man kiss to mentioning sex in the opening number to domimatrix people (domimatrices?) showing off on stage to Jack Black having the ring from Lord of the Rings pierced to his member plus much more. It all seemed to pile on. But even if you ignore all this and focus on the rest of it including the half-dressed ladies, always a good thing in any awards show, from host Gellar to various audience members, this was a funny show. Not as funny as when Mike Myers hosted a while back but still... that Panic Room skit had me laughing, especially when they broke out in song.

Did anyone notice when the great Jennifer Garner and the hitless-but-pretends-to-be-a-big-actress Charlize Theron jokingly talked about the year of the man, we got a shot of Hilary Swank?

Funniest ad-lib was from Matt Damon talking about "hating whiteys" to Chris Rock and Will Smith. I'll get the exact quote later when I watch one of their thousands of repeats.

Is it just my TV or did Mandy Moore look black with the tan she had? Besides that, her speech went way too long and thanked a lot of agents and other people we don't care about. I don't know anybody, okay maybe one, who actually watched this Remember Walking movie she did. Oh, right, A Walk to Remember. (Does it make a difference?)

Kelly Osbourne doesn't sound like a good singer at all. One way to tell is when her band totally drowns her out and we can barely hear her voice.

Hey look! Guess what's on MTV right now. It's the MTV Movie Awards. What a surprise!

Undercover Brother
Eddie Griffin stars in this movie about his efforts along with the Brotherhood to prevent The Man from trying to rid society of black influences. It's very funny. Think of it as an Austin Powers movie but with a 70's black man trying to deal with modern-day white people instead of a 60's man dealing with a 60's villain in a 90's society. Plus, there aren't any of the gross-out jokes like in Austin Powers that really would make Undercover Brother stand out from the rest of the comedies out there and be memorable. Sure, you'll be laughing at all the jokes in the theatre, but once you get out and live life, you would have forgotten all the hilarious one-liners given in the movie. I know I have. Still, it provides an hour and a half of comedic entertainment. Billy Dee Williams of Star Wars fame has an excellent cameo as a Colin Powell-esque General who is about to run for President only to start a fried chicken restaurant chain, easily the funniest two scenes in the movie. 3 stars

Must Leno keep putting on that Ross the Intern? He is the most annoying guy on TV, plus that Ross guy is annoying too. At least Dave is on, funny as ever.

Hi, Bob. Hi, Stan. How's the go going?

Winona Ryder. What's there to say about her? She's pretty and she's a good actress. But she's really dug herself into a hole with this whole shoplifting accusation. The latest news is that she hurt her left arm after someone accidentally bumped into her with a news camera. Yet, she comes back with a cast on her right arm! What's going on here? With this and the odd videotape of her carrying many pieces of clothing, she just might be guilty. Unless they make her try on something and it doesn't fit...then anything might happen down there in SoCal.

Ok, maybe this Hurricanes-Red Wings series might go on a bit longer than I thought.

So I was watching Spy TV tonite. I still don't understand the tagline at the end of each little prank. They tell them that they're on Spy TV but do they really know what that show is? Heck, it could mean anything. Plus, it's a new show. I'm sure barely anyone watches it. I flipped to it when I saw Ali Landry, not because of the dumb pranks they were doing. They should've just bought the rights to Candid Camera and called it that. At least people would recognize that plus it has a catchy tune.

Why am I up this late? Helping my procrastinating sister with a Spanish video project. Whatever happened to old-fashioned skits, the bread and butter of learning a language when I took 4 years of Spanish? Geez... (True, all I got out of those years were a few words and phrases but I learned something, si?)

It was probably only fitting that the Lakers-Kings series would end in sudden-death overtime, with the Lakers thankfully prevailing. Yes, the Kings are an elite team now and they are to be given props for that, but all I can remember were those days years ago when they occupied the cellar with the Warriors and the Clippers. Now with the Clips half decent, the local Warriors have the bottom all to themselves.

Did you notice if you add up the margin of victories by each team, Sacramento is ahead by a mere 2 points? Alas, but it's the votes that count, and the Lakers advance.

Whoever made Minute Maid OJ with Calcium is an idiot. Did they just mix milk and orange juice together or something?

The Sum of All Fears
This "present-day prequel" has Jack Ryan, played by Ben Affleck, saving the world again, this time under the backdrop of a nuclear explosion at a football stadium. This fresh-faced CIA agent is promoted to consult CIA director Cabot, played by Morgan Freeman, on the new Russian president, whom Ryan wrote an extensive paper on. Soon, with the disclosure that 3 Russian nuclear scientists are missing, the two start to investigate. Meanwhile, a group of Neo-Nazis go-ahead with their plans to escalate the fighting between the U.S. and Russia, so that once they finish each other off, the Neo-Nazis can finally rule the world, or at least what's left of it. They destroy the capital of Chechnya, which the new Russian president must take responsibility for or else he would look weak. Ryan discovers the next piece of their plan, the nuclear explosion on U.S. soil, and tells Cabot, but it is too late. Afterwards, Ryan acts alone in trying to prevent the United States and Russia from detonating nuclear weapons against each other.

All of it is well-done with some minor problems. The pre-nuclear half seems to run a bit long, talking about things the average moviegoer has no interest in listening to, but presumably, it's to get us used to seeing Ben Affleck instead of Harrison Ford or even Alec Baldwin in the role. The actual explosion and subsequent aftermath probably would have been more devastating had the events of September 11th not happened. Instead, this seems a bit rushed plus we've seen the whole sequence in the trailer. The last half lacks plausibility, with our hero Affleck racing through the disaster area only minutes after the blast, with no signs of sickness from the fallout (though hurriedly expained that the fallout was being blown to the south and east, I think making it near the epicenter would expose him to some radiation). Plus, do you mean to tell me that after Affleck's helicopter crashes, all he has is a bump on the head while the two pilots are dead? Come on! Admittedly, it is only a movie and at that, it is riveting. I couldn't keep my eyes off the screen, waiting for the back and forth between the U.S. vs. Russia and Ryan vs. everyone to continue. It's straightforward but effective. 3 stars