If I had to rethink my college plans after high school, I probably would have been a dentist. This after a visit to the dentist yesterday. I hadn't been there for a year so I was expecting the worst. Before I go, my parents told me my dentist, a nice old guy, had retired. Since it was a dentist group, we'd be assigned to some other dentist there. Wow. This new dentist seemed to be trying to get money left and right. He had already gotten to my dad and sister. My sister has four cavities, not unexpected. She's not too responsible for her teeth plus she lost her retainers. That's hundreds of dollars already. They told my dad he'd need to get a root canal and some crowns before they could clean his teeth. What a bunch of bull. My dad responds that it doesn't hurt anywhere to which the dentist says, "Really? It should." With this kind of dentistry, he must be a very rich man.

Then, he gets to me. Since I hadn't been there in a year, they make me fill out a form. On it, it asks if I have had any of a list of 50 ailments in my life. I put a line through all the no boxes. But the hygenist tells me I have to check every box. Geez. The dentist comes in, obviously middle-aged but seemingly inexperienced. Says I have perfect teeth, albeit with a little plaque, but nothing to worry about. So at least he knows perfect teeth when he sees it. As for identifying other problems, he might be just seeing green instead of holes.

Do you remember what they call a person who flunks medical school? A dentist.