Haven't posted in a while. And for good reason too. I was busy failing two midterms. And with that done, I'm free for another two weeks until the next one before the home stretch one month after that. There are things I want to mention that I found interesting.

First, if you read the sports updates every weekend, you'll notice I mention San Jose State attendance. You see, nobody's interested in sports there. And if things get worse, they'll be demoted. How disinterested are they? A friend of mine directed me to their athletic web site which ran a poll asking whether or not they would attend midnight madness for basketball. 83% said no. So at least the fans are honest.

Second, listen to Warren Zevon's music, one of the best songwriters out there. He's gonna die in a matter of weeks due to imoperable cancer in his lungs.

Third, The West Wing is one of my favorite shows but the way they've been portraying the election seems odd. The Republican candidate is seen as a strong guy but one lacking head-smarts and resorting to short, simple-minded responses. In contrast, President Bartlett trounces him with his witty, fact-filled remarks. Yet, quite oddly, the President is losing. Now how in the world is that? It needs to show the other side of the story. But it's too late now. The election's next week so game on.

Fourth, do people really watch and like The Bachelor?

Fifth, does anyone bother watching Survivor anymore?

Last, there's turmoil at the Daily Cal. As a frequent reader of the newspaper during my math and stats class, the quality seems to have headed south. First, they didn't have enough to write, so they cut the size of the paper. Then, they take out Dilbert. How can they do that? Then there are no more sports columnists. All they have is that guy doing short takes on sports once every other week. Plus, those columnists on page 3 aren't as interesting as they used to be. As interested as I am in Berkeley politics or Middle East turmoil or what they did over the weekend, I don't want to read it in their columns. Then they cut the number of places you can get the paper. It's due to the recession. Pshhh. Then they quote a guy who said the Bali bombings were planned by the United States, even though he didn't even come close to saying that. Honest mistake. Pshhh. Then they endorse Proposition 52 which is same-day voter registration, an idea so dumb, the Daily Cal has endorsed it. And now, three editors have left the paper due to a new policy mandating that those who don't finish editing by 9 must stay until 12:30 and see it go to the printers. Now that's a dumb idea. Why punish someone who's three minutes late by making them stay for 3 more hours? There's something wrong at the Daily Cal. But I'll still keep reading. It's free and it's better than listening to the professor.

Yes, there were small victories to be had this weekend, but ultimately, everyone was left with a sour taste in their mouth.

First and foremost, the Giants had victory in their grasp Saturday night, holding a 5-run lead with a 3-2 series advantage. Then everything that went so well for them during the season just started to fall apart. The bullpen turned into batting practice during a home run derby, allowing 6 unanswered runs to the Angels, forcing tonight's Game 7. The Giants got the first run, but the Angels chased Livan Hernandez, Game 7 winner five years ago for Florida, picking up 4 runs. The Giants had 6 innings in which to catch up, but the Angels' bullpen was just too strong and they held out for the 4-1 win. With defeat come the questions including whether or not Dusty Baker and Jeff Kent will return next year and will the Orioles defeat the Giants in the World Series next year. Only time will tell.

So when the victorious Angels yell out "I'm going to Disneyland!," don't they play right next to Disneyland? Not too special I guess.

Lost in the baseball shuffle was the 49ers' win today. They overpowered the Cardinals, jumping out to a 31-7 lead. But there are two halves to every game and the 49ers defense stayed in the locker room for the second half. The Cardinals got as close as 38-28, but the 49ers intercepted their last pass and time ran out. Andre Carter, Oak Grove and Cal product, had a sack and forced a fumble. They face the Raiders next week in a Bay Bridge battle. Hopefully, the game will be sold out so we all can see it.

The Sharks were a mixed bag, winning Friday against Columbus but losing tonite to the Blackhawks.

Cal lost on Saturday to the Beavers of Oregon State. They couldn't get any offensive rhythm going while limiting them to 24 points. They get a bye next week before facing surprising Arizona State.

San Jose State lost to mighty Boise State. Only 10,000 showed up for the game. They probably play next week but I have no clue who they're facing.

Oak Grove had a bye this week. Band and colorguard went to a competition in Gilroy and earned first place in their division. I tell ya, scoring these competitions must be one of the most complicated things to do. Just rows and rows of numbers added up for one magic number. And OG happened to have the highest one.

As some of you know, I'm a stats reader. Now I think I've been fair in grading homeworks (90% average according to my figures). And how do the spoiled kids respond? They cheat. They copy off each other's homeworks. Now a little copying is fine, one problem here, another there, but when it's the entire thing, red flags go up. And that's just wrong. I've always been suspicious, but they've all been getting good grades so it's hard to see who's copying who. But with this weekend's somewhat difficult assignment, papers stand out. Already three sets of copying with about 25 more papers to grade. One even did a problem in the wrong chapter and then the other guy copied it!

It's not that hard to get full credit from me. You got the right answer? Ok, full credit. I don't need complete explanations or laid-out work. I don't read it. But at least do it yourself. Besides, the people you're copying off of may be wrong too (of the three sets out of 130 points: 62, 92, 101 earned).

Punch-Drunk Love

"And all at once, I knew, I knew it once, I knew he needed me."
--lyric from Harry Nilsson's "He Needs Me" as sung by Shelley Duvall, a song which will be known as the song from Punch-Drunk Love instead of that song from Popeye with Robin Williams.

Adam Sandler stars in a role that is a departure of sorts, but manages to keep some of his comedic side on-screen through Punch-Drunk Love, a romantic comedy that in some ways, isn't one at all. He's a guy who's all alone with barely any interaction with others, save for his seven sisters. He does become a civil engineer and makes and sells unbreakable designer handles for toilet plungers. Things in his life come to a standstill when he ruins his sister's birthday party by breaking some glass doors and confessing to his brother-in-law that he needs to see a therapist. Desperate for interaction, he calls a phone sex line and across from an empty chair, talks to Georgia. But soon, she keeps calling back and eventually asks for money, which he refuses to do. At the same time, he meets Lena, played by Emily Watson. Motivated by a picture on the wall, she wants to meet him and get to know him. And it seems it was love at first sight. When she leaves to Hawaii for business, he promptly chases after her, even if his scheme for one million frequent flyer miles won't go through for another 6 weeks. It is when they get back from Hawaii, and this path meets up with the path of Georgia and her money scheme, when Sandler's Barry Egan finally begins to realize direction in his life.

Director Paul Thomas Anderson has mostly been associated with long, carefully detailed films on dark subject matter such as the porn in Boogie Nights or death in Magnolia, itself a 3-hour movie. But this 90 minute movie flies by so fast, I was wanting more. Watching Sandler and Watson interact on-screen was fun to watch. Even the one song in the film fits in perfectly with the situation those two find themselves in. But Sandler shows real growth from the simplistic characters seen in his purely comedic roles. From loneliness to craziness to a romantic to headstrong, he plays everything in this film. He could actually make the leap to dramatic roles, as most recently Jim Carrey has done with modest success. And in this chracter-driven movie, Sandler really lives up to expectations and exceeds them. During the first half of the movie, his character was erratic and distant. But once he had someone to care for and knowing the feeling was mutual, he takes control of everything, his love, his anger, everything, as shown when the 4 blond brothers who are getting Georgia's money from him get beaten up after hitting Barry's car, giving Lena a cut on the forehead. Yes, at the end, there will be questions. Like why does Barry let Georgia's boss go after confronting him about stealing money? But what PT Anderson movie doesn't make you ask questions? All I know is, it was entertaining to see and I'd see it again. And that's that. 3.5 stars

Did anyone watch Boston Public Monday? Replicating the recent riot among students in San Francisco's Marshall High School last week, Winslow High also had their own riot to complain about their learning environment. With POD's anthem, Youth of the Nation, blaring in the background, the students pretty much tore up the school. Of course, the whole scene was drama at its fullest, but where were all the adults? The vice principal screaming from the stairs and the principal just staring blankly into the crowd ain't gonna do anything while some kid breaks glass for no apparent reason. It's inner city Boston, where were the police?

Continuing on the theme of the students' voice, the Daily Cal had an op-ed piece by Tom Daschle (D-SD), the Senate majority leader. Titled "Student Voice May Shift Federal Power," he says that "now is this generation's time to not only keep our republic but to strengthen it. Now is their time to shape America to their ideals, and that work begins at the ballot box. So I urge students to get involved in this year's elections, regardless of party preference." While the purpose of the article was to get students to vote this Election Day, he manages to sneak in some partisan Democratic comments doesn't he?

Every elected official, Democrat and Republican, understands that the safety and security of the American people is our first responsibility. Democrats, however, also understand that the challenges we face go beyond national security and homeland security.

I would argue that, during the past year, Democrats have used our majority in the Senate to enact positive change, and to keep inadequate and even harmful legislation from slowing our national progress.

So where's the Republican response? Running a Democratic article seems to tip the scales doesn't it? At least they ran it in the opinion section, probably the least-read section of the newspaper.

This weekend in sports is highlighted by Cal's victory over UCLA in football. It was an ugly game with Cal setting a record for penalties. But that along with the pressure of a decent-sized 46,000+ crowd at Memorial Stadium under the portable lights and also in front of a national audience on TBS didn't break the Golden Bears as they stood their ground for a 17-12 win. With 5 wins, they have more wins than the last two seasons combined. One more win and they can qualify for a bowl, if only they weren't on probation. Of course, Cal is appealing the ruling.

I went to the homecoming game of Oak Grove vs. arch-rival Santa Teresa con mi amigo Jon, the guy leaving all these comments around the blog. With the game moved to nighttime, the classes took advantage by adding lights to their homecoming floats. The senior class won, their theme escapes me, but it was noted that they are the only class to win all four years. The game was boring as OG won 41-0.

San Jose State football lost 52-24 to Nevada-Reno. I guess the high-altitude, gambling, and buffets took their toll on them. Against Boise State this weekend, they're hoping for a turnout of 20,000. If you remember, they were expecting 15,000+ against Tulsa a few weeks back. Instead, they got only 10,000.

The Sharks really need to sign those free agents. They lost to Colorado by giving up two goals late and lost tonight to the Canucks by giving up 5 goals in 7 minutes, a Sharks record.

Niners lost. Raiders lost.

Finally, go Giants. They're tied 1-1 in the World Series, with the next 3 games held in nearby San Francisco. And as we know from the tune, when the Giants come to town, it's bye, bye, baby.

On September 1st, I posted a link to an article about the little-known facts of the Karate Kid trilogy. Look for it in the archive. It's funny. After getting home from a screening of Punch-Drunk Love (excellent movie), I turned on the television to find Part II on Telemundo. Yes, it was in Spanish, but the language of the Karate Kid is universal. Luckily, or unluckily, there was only the last 10 minutes left. But the ending is so laughable, I thought there was laughing gas being pumped into my room. Fighting over a girl, Daniel and the tough Asian guy square off on a bridge. After sparring for a bit, the taiko drums begin banging and those little drums with pegs attached to a string are being twirled around as fast as possible as if giving strength to Daniel. Just like in the WWF when Hulk Hogan got stronger after every punch or the Ultimate Warrior got strength by pretending to be electrocuted from shaking the ropes. Soon enough, they start trading blows. As hard as they can, they hit each other 12 consecutive times. (12!) And it doesn't even hurt until the final one when the Asian guy goes down. Daniel goes in for the kill, then pitches his nose. Ah, that Karate Kid. Hilarious weak guy that he is.

In the meantime, while the President may be giving us unintentional laughs, other parts of government have been doing it on purpose.

Colin Powell spoke a few nights ago about Iraq and decided to joke about the Iraqi election of Saddam Hussein as mentioned below. "In Iraq," he says, "they don't have hanging chads. All they have are hangings."

Senator John McCain hosted SNL last night. I haven't watched it yet, but judging from past appearances by other politicians, it could be mildly entertaining. Then again, SNL has been off its game this year after Will Ferrell and Ana Gasteyer left.

And according to the Daily Cal, it's suspected that somebody brought in a tank of laughing gas into the Senate chambers on campus and pumped it in during a session last week.

Wednesday night's ASUC Senate meeting was business as usual until the senators broke out into uncontrollable laughter for 20 minutes at midnight.

"You are all out of order. I don't know if you guys are ADD tonight," said Executive Vice President Han Hong at the meeting, before being distracted herself by one of the many side conversations.

Aloha Independence Senator Kris Cuaresma-Primm announced that his girlfriend, UC Berkeley senior Mika Thieme, had released laughing gas from a scuba tank in the senate chambers while sitting in on the meeting.

Thieme later denied that any laughing gas had been released, although she admitted she did open a scuba tank outside senate chambers.

"I don't know why everyone was laughing, but it had nothing to do me," Thieme said.

Although the laughing was uncharacteristic of behavior at senate meetings, senators said it did not interfere with their ability to conduct business.

Whether mangling words, obliterating a famous cliche or just saying something weird, President Bush has injected occasional awkward moments into many public appearances, typically leaving listeners with quizzical looks on their faces.

The president recently told an audience at a Nashville school: "We're trying to figure out how best to make the world a peaceful place ... there's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas ... it's probably in Tennessee - that says, fool me once, shame on ... Shame on you. It fool me. We can't get fooled again."

The WB first gave us a young version of a heroic guy through Smallville, which features a young Superman. While the show did do us a favor by giving the world the pretty Kristin Kreuk, I just couldn't sit through watching the show. It seems awfully boring, especially in comparison to the Superman movies that were so entertaining. (OK, maybe not parts 3 and 4.) And that's why 24 is the show I watch Tuesdays at 9.

And now comes word that they want to make a show revolving around a young MacGyver. Now MacGyver was one of my favorite shows in the 80s. Man, the things he could do with a paper clip and some bubble gum. Along with the movie that they're planning, it all seems like a really bad idea. MacGyver was a smart show and in an age where The Bachelor is a big hit, Young MacGyver may get dumbed down too, being on the WB, or else nobody will watch. Besides, we all saw how horrendous the Young Indiana Jones Chronicles were. Stop it before it's too late.

Today is Iraqi election day. It's a day when Iraqis can voice their opinion on who will be their next president. The candidates are Saddam Hussein and, um, yeah, that's it. The last time he was re-elected, he got 99.96% of the vote. So, presumably after eliminating 0.04% of the population, estimates are that he might go for the big 100% this time. Sure, you can abstain from voting, but all ballots have a code with your voter card, so they'll know who you are, so that next time, they will reach 100%. Sure, by then, "regime change" will occur, but he can hope right?

UPDATE: Saddam has been re-elected with 100% of the vote.

Speaking of regime change, here's why President Bush wishes to accomplish it, in cartoon form.

With the reappearance of the movie list to the left, some of you have asked, why haven't you seen so-and-so movie? Officially, it's because I'm studying. Really, I'm just lazy. But like September, October has seen its share of uninteresting movies. Knockaround Guys? Swept Away? That talking vegetables movie? The Man From Elysian Fields? Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever? (I know, this came out in September, but really, it's never gonna get any good in any month.)

But the award for best ad for a movie I won't see goes to Wasabi. No, it's not about eating sushi. It has Jean Reno, the professional from The Professional, or Leon, as hardcore fans know it.

The ad writes that Wasabi is "quite possibly, the greatest French-language, English-subtitled, Japanese action-comedy of all-time."

So if you can even name another French-language, English-subtitled, Japanese action-comedy, you really must ask yourself, is it better than Wasabi?

In this sports roundup, everybody lost!

San Jose State? Lost 50-7 to #5 Ohio State. In consolation, they got $500,000 for their troubles.

Cal? Lost 30-28 to USC. They led 21-3 in the 2nd quarter, but a touchdown, which replays revealed wasn't even a catch at all, by USC was the turning point. Break out the lights next week as UCLA comes to town. Cal's stadium doesn't have lights because the people who live even further up the hill say it will block their views of the bay. As a result, this is the first time they've put up the temporary lights in about 3 years. Game time is 4 pm and will be shown on TBS.

Oak Grove? Lost a close one to Pioneer 23-20. Pioneer! They suck. Now OG sucks for losing to them. Next week is arch rival Santa Teresa in the homecoming game. Let's see how lame the floats are this year. I should know, I worked on them every year. It's the first time they've played ST on homecoming since my freshman year there. The theme for our float that year? Sink the Saints. Lame, yes, but we did win that year, so you can imagine how much worse the other people's floats were. In related news, the OG band and colorguard got first place at their competition in Modesto.

The Sharks? Lost 5-3 to Vancouver as shown to the left. They really need to sign those holdouts.

The Giants? Lost 5-4 to the Cardinals. They'd better watch out because a Cardinals win in Game 4 will tie up the series. Luckily, that didn't happen and the Giants have the chance to win the series and face the Angels in the World Series tomorrow night. They won tonite 4-3.

Finally, the Raiders. Lost 28-13 embarrassingly to the winless Rams. No comment since I'm a 49ers fan. (The Niners play on Monday night.) But since most of my friends and relatives are Raiders fans, hahahahaha.

The Transporter
Jason Statham (one of the more comprehendible characters from Snatch) stars as Frank Martin, a person who transports things which need transporting. As a man who lives a solitary life and lives to work and works to live, he doesn’t expect any surprises. But, if this movie continued like that, what kind of a movie would this be? As a result, surprise comes in the form of Qi Shu, a girl who’s pretty, cute, and pretty cute. As the package, she’s accidently discovered in the back of the trunk by Frank after he fixed a flat tire. The receiver finds out and tries to have him killed. (Am I right in hearing his name was Wall Street? What kind of stupid name is that?) After he blows up Frank’s car, that’s when you know he’s mad. So, as luck would have it, the girl meets up with him and convinces Frank to help her get some 400 Chinese people out of a shipping container who are about to be turned into slaves. And with the good heart he has, he finishes the job.

The action was well done, especially the car chase in the beginning, but there came a point in the movie when it all seemed too ridiculous. Each action scene was calculated to take it one step further, so much so that it became over the top. I mean, he’s a freakin’ driver for petes sake. First, the bad guys use missiles to blow up his house. Then by the end of the movie, he’s winning a fight against 20-or-so men and being “slick” about it too. And what about guns? Did they just happen to run out after they blew up the poor guy's house? In the many fighting scenes, nobody thought of shooting him, maybe in the leg if they wanted to keep him alive? There’s also a lack of transition between scenes, which explains for the lack of story in the last 80 minutes of the film. And even though it’s called The Transporter, there isn’t much transporting going on. A car chase in the beginning and a car scene at the end is all there is. But through all of it, Frank is just a cool character. 2 stars

The Rules of Attraction
While many stories are intertwined in this college story of sex, drugs, sex, alcohol, and sex, it mainly centers on the actions of James Van Der Beek as Sean, Shannyn Sossamon as Lauren, and Ian Somerhalder as Paul. Sean is the drug dealer from Nebraska who owes quite a lot of money. Lauren is the pure girl who wants Sean but is saving herself for her old boyfriend, Victor, who’s away in Europe. Paul, as the bi, used to go out with Lauren but has now set his sights on Sean. Through the course of the movie, we see their interactions from the first meeting on, while the distractions of a promiscuous roommate, the endless parties and coke, and suicides get in the way.

But the way all of them messed themselves up, it’s amazing the body count was so low. Cigarettes everywhere, lines of cocaine everywhere, a reference to mono as disregarded as the common cold. While I liked the presentation by director Roger Avary, including his backward scenes in the beginning, their stories seem to end up as one big jumbled mess. Even though it probably wanted to be a parody of college life, it took itself way, way too seriously. Avary seems to dwell on a few things way too long, kinda boring me. A few light moments did pop up like the Tom Cruise-Risky Business-inspired scene and the fast-forward trip through Europe.

But seriously, what kind of college exists where everyone seems to have some kind of mental problem attached? Wait. Did you hear that word? College? Basically no one went to class. And during the one time they did, Sean and Lauren were enrolled in a class on Saturday morning and both of them went! What the heck does that mean? Eventually, I didn’t care what happened to all of them. It seems like in this vision of college, they’re all better off dead instead of wasting away. 1.5 stars

The Tuxedo
Jackie Chan stars in yet another comedy/action adventure where he takes over for his wounded boss, a super secret agent who has a special tuxedo that does practically everything, from letting him climb walls to imitate James Brown. Helping him along is J. Lo. Hewitt. Various things ensue, some for laughs, some for the plot, and eventually the problem is eventually solved, even if it seems like they didn’t do anything at all.

I did not like this movie. Sure, there were laughs. But they were few and far between. Hewitt serves as eye candy in the film but doesn’t have the comedic timing to keep up with Chan’s unique comedy. Chan just seems uncomfortable because he’s the true star of the film and he can’t fill such big shoes. Together, they don’t have the same chemistry as he does with Owen Wilson or Chris Tucker, or even between Jet Li and the late Aaliyah. (Well, I guess it's better than Sammo Hung and Arsenio Hall. What was that about?) And when the two leads can’t prop up a film with a weird and complicated storyline for a comedy (bugs poison water forcing people to buy one guy’s fresh water, or something like that), the movie can’t be expected to be any good. The film does fly by, so that it didn’t seem like I wasted 90 minutes watching it, but I did all the same. 1 star

The first game of any season is bound to have problems as players get used to everyone else and the pace of play picks up considerably from the exhibition season. But negatives outweighed positives in tonight's shellacking of the Sharks courtesy of the Detroit Red Wings.

Yes, the Sharks were short-handed. Thornton's out with a shoulder injury. Nabokov and Stuart are holding out for more money. But tonight's effort was, well, what effort? Right off the bat, the Sharks got 4 straight power plays, including a 5 on 3. What was the score? Detroit 2, San Jose 1 courtesy of Kirk Maltby's two shorthanded goals. Every positive action by the Sharks was countered by an equal or greater reaction by the Red Wings. With Friends and CSI on, the remote was working hard. Every switch of the channels seemingly led to another goal. Positively, they did turn in a much better effort in the 3rd period by scoring a goal in the first minute and keeping up the pressure on Detroit goalie Curtis Joseph. San Jose backup goalie Vesa Toskala made some good saves, including a great sequence in the last minute, giving hope to the masses that the Sharks just needed some time to gel. Hopefully, this will be proven true in the next game.

In summary, Sharks starter Kiprusoff is a solid goalie, but this performance tonight proves he's not No. 1 just yet. The top line of Harvey, Damphousse, and Nolan did their job by scoring goals but Sturm, Marleau, and Selanne was DOA. Luckily, there are 81 more games to go, Thornton should be back in a couple of weeks and the holdouts should be back soon. Final score: Detroit 6, San Jose 3.

Even if I didn't take Spanish in high school, this reporter's translation of "Nuestra Senora de Buena Esperanza" looks suspect. As a result, Washington State's newspaper, The Daily Evergreen, was forced to apologize for the story by a freshman reporter and the actions by the three editors who looked at it.

The Daily Evergreen would like to sincerely apologize for an injustice served to the Filipino-American, Spanish-speaking and Catholic communities on the front page of Thursday's Evergreen.

The story "Filipino-American history recognized" stated that the "Nuestra Senora de Buena Esperanza," the galleon on which the first Filipinos landed at Morro, Bay, Calif., loosely translates to "The Big Ass Spanish Boat." It actually translates to "Our Lady of Good Hope."

Parts of the story, including the translation above, were plagiarized from an inaccurate Web site.

October is Filipino-American History Month. Members of the Filipino-American Student Association of WSU will hold events to celebrate their history and culture all month. They should be able to celebrate without gross inaccuracies and poor coverage by the Evergreen.

We hope these groups accept our deep regret.

I passed by a Budweiser truck today and on the back was a website containing infromation on being responsible and preventing alcoholism, the only disease people will yell at you for having. The website? http://www.beeresponsible.com. Man, this site name must have been crafted by their crack research team, or their research team on crack, take your pick.

First, people with short attention spans will see "beer" and that's it. That "esponsible" part is just a big jumble to them. Second, could they have picked a more difficult name for people to type in to get alcoholism prevention tips? I mean, these people are already drunk to start off since they're alcoholics. Making them type in 14 letters into a computer and having them read information might be harder than walking a straight line. Plus, there's only one "r". That makes no sense. Lastly, people who read it quickly won't notice "beer" and instead try to form words with what they see. For example, I can see "be irresponsible." Great, we should be irresponsible by drinking a lot of beer. Is that the message Budweiser wants to send to us?

It was nice of them to make a site like this but please pick a shorter web address.

On Monday, the two candidates for California governor had a debate. What? Didn't even hear about it? I'm not surprised. It was at noon on a Monday and only one station had it on TV. But the most important charge coming out of it was Bill Simon alleging that Gray Davis accepted a campaign contribution in his office while Lieutenant Governor, which is illegal. The only evidence he could muster was this photo. While I still support Simon, going this route in attacking Davis is a bad idea. I mean, first of all, who would pose for a picture like this? I mean, I don't take pictures with checks in my hand unless I won the lottery. Second, Davis looks as if his face was pasted onto that body. Third, Democrats have shown off the Lieutenant Governor's office and it doesn't look anything like what the background looks like. Instead, Simon needs to add substance to the debate by proposing solutions to the massive problems Davis has overseen including the record $24 billion budget deficit we just endured. Attacking Davis without evidence, or fake evidence for that matter, isn't making the case, especially considering Simon was a former prosecutor.

Every once in a while, you have an experience where you think, oh, if I was there just 5 minutes or even 5 seconds earlier, that could've happened to me. Well, that happened to me today just a hour ago.

After a long day at class, okay, one hour, I realized I was out of soda so I took the bus a bit longer to the Andronico's market. I got off and needed to cross Sacramento and University to get there. I crossed Sacramento okay but University was a different story. The walking man appeared at the light and I started to cross. To the right of me, there was an old brown Toyota just waiting to turn left. Apparently, he just missed the light and he was inching up to the crosswalk. So I hurried a little more and passed him. I looked up and the hand was blinking. A few more steps later, CRASH! I looked behind me. The brown Toyota jumped the gun against a red light and tried to U-turn only to have a motorcycle, which was turning legally, run into him. Man, I was just there 3 seconds earlier. The guy in the Toyota rushed out of his car, looked at the motorcyclist and just fainted in the crosswalk.

I stuck around until the police came and interviewed me. It all happened behind me so I wasn't much help. The homeless guy who asked me for money at the corner saw the whole thing. But if I was running to make the light, I could've been in the middle of that mess. Sure, I've been hit by a car before and my friend in Oakland has been hit multiple times as if he was a target, but being in the middle of this probably would have been far worse.

The weekend in sports was shaping up to be a historic one for the Bay Area. Almost every team playing won their games with the great exception of one.

Over the weekend, the Sharks were beginning to wrap their exhibition season by winning their last two games against Anaheim and Los Angeles. Tonight, Queen Elizabeth II dropped the puck tonite before the game against Vancouver. Who knew she was a hockey fan? But anyway, the season starts on Thursday against the defending champion Detroit Red Wings.

Friday night was another Oak Grove high school football game and colorguard performance. According to my sister, she did slightly better this time, actually taking off her jacket when she was supposed to and joining in on the flag throwing. There was only the problem of being fast enough with the walking. After all, she almost hit a band member the first time. I didn't attend but the team did beat the Gunderson Grizzlies 55-0.

Then on Saturday was college football day. Cal beat the 12th-ranked Washington Huskies 34-27 in a great day for quarterback Kyle Boller, who threw 5 touchdown passes. San Jose State won too, after falling behind at the half. They beat winless Southern Methodist by a score of 34-23. Finally, Stanfurd lost! That's all you need to know about that.

Then today. It started out early with the Raiders. My dad's a really big fan. They won in another high scoring affair, 49-31. Then the Niners beat the Rams, who are slumping really bad right now, 37-13. After this, the day got ugly.

The Oakland Athletics. Woe is them. For two years, they've been eliminated by the Yankees in the first round. This year, the Twins did it to them. There was a small spark at the end when they scored 3 runs in the ninth, but they were down by 4 after Koch gave up 3 in the top half of the ninth. In the end, they lost 5-4. So now A's fans, as few as there are, will have to wait another year. On a brighter note, the Giants won 8-3 tonite to stretch their series against the Braves to a deciding 5th game tomorrow.

Red Dragon
This prequel of the series of Hannibal Lecter movies is actually a remake of the 1986 Manhunter starring Brian Cox as Lecter and William Petersen (CSI) as Investigator Graham. Today, Anthony Hopkins reprises his role as Lecter and Edward Norton takes up Graham. I haven't watched Manhunter in quite a long time so direct comparisons aren't really available, but from what I do remember from it, Manhunter was very suspenseful and well-done with Michael Mann at the helm. Red Dragon doesn't come up to its level but it comes awfully close.

Investigator Graham has caught the one man who eluded him in a series of murder cases: the man who has been trying to help him. But after Lecter stabs him, Graham retires to Florida with his wife and kid. A different series of murders involving families convinces Crawford (Harvey Keitel) to go back to his best agent and ask him to look around and provide a few tips. Graham eventually agrees but soon also can't get ahead. As a result, he goes back to his muse, Lecter, now found in the all-too familiar Baltimore psychiatric hospital. We are then introduced to the murderer, Dolarhyde (Ralph Fiennes) who's commiting the murders to convert them for he is the Red Dragon, a hellish character inspired by a painting. Charming him is the blind woman who works at the film lab with him, played by Emily Watson. Soon, these two paths converge and a bloody ending follows.

Like Manhunter, this too is a well-done, suspenseful film. As the clues are discovered, each one is scrutinized and calculated for full effect. Brett Ratner, whose past films have been mostly sappy comedies and buddy-cop films, does an excellent job in keeping us glued to the screen. His only mistake was in getting us too involved. If you watch carefully enough, you know exactly what is going to happen. A lingering camera shot, a double-take at the end; it all adds up to being one predictable movie. The performances by Hopkins, Norton, and Fiennes were great, but the rest are a bit mixed. Keitel stands around most of the time doing absolutely nothing except listening or taking calls or providing pep talks to a sulking Graham. Watson is a victim just waiting to be taken advantage of. The journalist Lounds, played by Phillip Seymour Hoffman, is just a yes-man always trying to get a story, so you know what's going to happen to him. But wisely, Ratner lets the three main characters dominate the action, pushing the others into the background, and letting this dramatic movie strike a balance between the thinking man's Silence of the Lambs and the gruesome Hannibal. 3 stars

Today tis the birthday of my sister, Nancy, turning a sweet 16 today. And how will she celebrate it? School and another colorguard performance. So the big party has turned into a big weekend extravaganza. Included in that will be Red Dragon, which is getting battered by critics, not too bad but mixed at best.

In some ways, I don't believe she's 16. Being the youngest, she's very spoiled. She asks for help with homework as much as any of her siblings did not. She hasn't passed the first leg of the driver's license test process, always the rite of passage for 16-year-olds. And as a result, teen angst songs rule the house very loudly, dominated right now by Avril Lavigne, whose life seems to be so complicated by skater boys or somethin.

But she seems to be fearless, I'll give her that. So happy birthday, Nansi, or however you want to spell it these days.

A lot has been talked about how we can solve the Iraq crisis. The international community wants to let in weapons inspectors to investigate Iraq's capability for weapons of all kinds. America, specifically President Bush, wants regime change in any way, shape, or form. This may result in massive amounts of troops and lots of dollars spent. I suggest they listen to the world around them for cheap solutions to this ever-growing problem.

Ari Fleischer, Bush's press secretary, was asked how much would the war cost. He replied it could be as cheap as one bullet, suggesting an assassination was in order. Not only is it cheap, but one directed at Hussein will end this conflict swiftly, whether it be from the Iraqi people or from a spy. But don't tell anyone he suggested it; haven't people been watching The West Wing? And why use just one? How about two or three?

The best comes from the Iraqi vice president. He suggests the heads of state from each country get together at some neutral site for a duel. The article doesn't mention whether it will be with guns or swords, but Hussein seems to love both judging by the footage of him they keep showing. Think about it: President Bush vs. Saddam Hussein in a desert somewhere for a gun battle. Wouldn't that be just weird? Too bad it won't happen.

I wanted to talk about this last night but I fell asleep. When the football game reached a score of blowout proportions, I quickly started to channel-surf to see what else was on. Sure enough, there was the absurdity of "Celebrity" Boot Camp. First of all, Boot Camp, like American Idol (yes, Kelly was the best of the bunch, but they were all just horrible, weren't they?), gets boring after the first couple of episodes because the funny awkwardness takes up most of the first shows. Once that's gone, the seriousness of competition remains and unless you're into that stuff, then it gets really boring.

But the true problem is that none of these people are celebrities. They might have been many, many, many years ago, but not now. Let us count the ways.

Traci Bingham was on Baywatch. Nobody remembers that show anymore. Even more obscure were the women who were on that show. Because there were so many of them, it didn't matter who they were as long as they were running.

Coolio hasn't had a hit since Gangsta's Paradise.

David Faustino was Bud Bundy. Not something you want to say to everyday people.

Kato Kaelin was O.J.'s houseguest at the time of the murders. Wow. What a celebrity. (Speaking of O.J., Christopher Reeve, Superman-turned-paralyzed-for-life, made a joke the other day at a party of his: What's the difference between Christopher Reeve and O.J.? O.J. walked.)

Lorenzo Lamas was the Renegade. Never heard of the TV show? Thought so.

Fabrice Morvan. Better known as part of the group Milli Vanilli, the Grammy-winning lip synching group. Again, not something to be known for.

Tiffany was a pop-star umpteen years ago. Her recent claim to fame? She performed in Berkeley a couple years ago. No, not a big concert, a noon concert. If you remember, The Librarians just performed at the same space two weeks ago.

Vitamin C made that Graduation song, but has never been heard from since.

Barry Williams, arguably the most famous celebrity in Boot Camp, was on the Brady Bunch. Anything else? Nope, just the Brady Bunch. He was in the movies. Nope, they were Brady Bunch movies. Wait, he wrote a book. Nope, it was about the Brady Bunch. He sings right? Well, he sucks and he wouldn't be singing if it weren't for the Brady Bunch.

Finally, Nikki Zierling is on The Price is Right. She's one of the models. Yeah, like we know any of the models' names.

And there you go, the big, big stars on Celebrity Boot Camp. Luckily, this didn't drag on for six weeks like the regular edition. Instead, it was two hours long and I managed to find out that Coolio won by the slimmest of margins, whose reactions, demeanor, language, and arrogance were worth watching.