Congrats to John Heffron for becoming the Last Comic Standing. Of course, I'm a bit disappointed since I believed he was the third best comic on the stage. Alonzo, I believed, was head and above the other two. But it was not meant to be. Gary had a weak set in the finals which probably ruined him. John was strong throughout the show, but later on, my impression of him soured. He got better in the last episode, which helped him a lot.

Now I bet we're all looking for Last Comic Standing 3, which pits the comedians from the first two against each other. Yes! Dave Mordal is back, hopefully. Bad news...we get to see Ant perform again. And of course, I'm holding out hope that Dat Phan has at least one brand new joke to entertain the masses before he goes back to the tried and true. If tonight's set is any indication, his performance will be dismal. Come on! He did that bathroom joke again!

Collateral
Vincent (Tom Cruise) coolly walks through the airport and is bumped. Bags fall and apologies are exchanged. And so begins his next job. As a contract killer, Vincent is hired to kill 5 witnesses of a crime to be used in an upcoming trial. To drive him around, there's Max (Jamie Foxx). He's the hard-working cab driver with dreams of starting his own limo company. When Vincent offers him $500 to drive him around, Max can't refuse. But soon, he quickly realizes what he has gotten himself into. With each successive kill, Max stands by helpless, succumbing to the whims of a greater foe. It isn't until he finds out who the last victim will be when Max musters up the courage to do something about it.

Director Michael Mann has created a movie you can't take your eyes off for a second. First, there is the cool camerawork capturing an essence of Los Angeles rarely seen on-screen: a nighttime setting that is large but quiet with an emptiness that permeates throughout the city unless you find the right vibrant spot. Cruise dazzles in his performance as Vincent, a cool and confident hitman who's thinking many steps ahead of the next guy. Cruise has seemingly been on a hot streak since splitting from Nicole Kidman, hasn't he? The dialogue is filled with small nuggets that let us know more about the mysterious Vincent as well as the innocent Max, who Foxx plays well. The film's lone shootout evokes thrilling emotions as Vincent must fight his way through guards and police to get to his target. But as smart and as thrilling as the movie is, the ending degenerates into the usual chase sequence that yes, ties up the loose ends, but still, misses its mark to put an exclamation point on a fine film. 3.5 stars

The Notebook
Allie (Rachel McAdams) was the rich girl who stayed in the Carolinas for the summer. Duke (Ryan Gosling) was the hard-working man living in the Carolinas. But one night at the carnival changed both of their lives. They soon fell for each other, but Allie's parents disapproved of the couple and moved her back early. Life went on, but while Allie moved on, eventually becoming engaged to a wealthy military man (James Marsden), Duke can't get the image of Allie out of his head. Duke's picture in the paper forces Allie to re-examine the choices she has made thus far. All of this is told from a notebook by James Garner, telling the story to an Alzheimer's patient (Gena Rowlands).

The movie is quite a predictable love story but the couple of McAdams and Gosling make that part of the story work. However, it is the interludes of Garner and Rowlands that messes up the timing and effectiveness of the movie. These scenes try too hard to hide the secret that director John Cassevetes wants to save for the big finale that not only is it pretty obvious where the story is leading, I lost all interest I had in the old couple and impatiently waited for the young couple to turn up again. The scenes are beautifully shot and the script isn't all too bad for this type of film, but it never builds up a rhythm to the point where we really feel for them. Instead, we're just waiting for the inevitable to happen. 2 stars

A Cinderella Story
Once upon a time in the San Fernando Valley, there lived a young teenage girl named Sam (Hilary Duff) who lived with her stepmother (Jennifer Coolidge) and her stepsisters. With the passing of her father, Sam worked daily at the restaurant her stepmother inherited while trying to balance the studies necessary to get into Princeton. In her dreams though, it is the thought of ending up with Austin (Chad Michael Murray). Unbeknownst to her, the secret man she has been communicating with has been Austin. When he musters up the courage to ask to meet at the dance, Sam is faced with the choice of defying her stepmom or staying. Ultimately, she goes and has a wonderful time without revealing herself to him. The road soon becomes uphill as the pressure to come clean gets to be too much for Sam.

Two annoyances stick out. First, Sam's mask only covers her eyes and you expect me to believe Austin couldn't pick her out of a crowd the next day? And Sam really didn't have any friends at all, did she? After all, nobody, including Sam, called the phone to see who has it. "A Cinderella Story" though is your by-the-numbers teen romance, straight down to the bitchy jealous former girlfriend and the nerdy friend who sticks by the main character at all times. But forcing upon it the Cinderella storyline actually made it worse off. Duff is obviously talented, as evidenced from her turn as Lizzie McGuire, but she needs to distance herself from fare such as this. 1.5 stars

Thunderbirds
Based on the British show, the Thunderbirds go live-action, following the sixth Thunderbird (Brady Corbet) as he dreams of following in the footsteps of his father (Bill Paxton) and his brothers. But when The Hood (Ben Kingsley) damages the Thunderbirds' space station and effectively traps them once they leave on a rescue mission, it's up to the young son, a couple of friends, the brainy scientist (Anthony Edwards) and Lady Penelope to save the day.

So Thunderbirds are go! Okay, just stop. You'd think accompished actors Paxton, Kingsley, and Edwards would steer clear of movies like this. Instead, they're part of a film we're laughing at instead of with. Luckily for Paxton, he's barely in it. Unluckily for Kingsley, he must recite bad line after bad line while trying desperately to keep up the facade of a villain. The children awkwardly work through the scenes with an inexplicable handle on each situation. I would have been more interested on how Kingsley and the little girl got those superpowers. What explanation do we get? Ehh, it runs in the family. In the end, kids will probably suck it all up and enjoy it, but Thunderbirds has at much depth as a Saturday morning action show. But at least those are 30 minutes long. 1 star

The Bourne Supremacy
Matt Damon returns to his role as Jason Bourne, the spy with amnesia. He has calmly reclaimed his life and along with his girlfriend, has settled in India. However, the past has caught up to him and soon, he begins a whirlwind tour through Europe to reclaim what he has lost. The plot revolves around secret Russian documents that the CIA was about to obtain only to lose them through sabotage and the murder of a CIA agent. Bourne is framed for this crime. Soon, Bourne's actions seem to be vital to his survival rather than living up to a promise of retribution.

One thing annoyed me about "The Bourne Supremacy". The camerawork during the most intense scenes could have used some work. In a fight scene, I wanna see the whole picture. I don't just wanna see body parts. Overall, it almost gets dizzying. But while this sequel loses some of the intrigue about its main character, it doesn't lose its intelligent storytelling and gains a whole lot more in thrills and fast-paced action. Damon establishes the signature role of his career as Jason Bourne while the cast against him brings an air of intimidation with their performances including Joan Allen and Brian Cox. And just like the first movie, Julia Stiles just disappears halfway through the film. Sure, she's effective so why can't she be in more of the movie? Now here's another minor question. In a land of BMW's and Mercedes, why is the CIA driving around in Chrysler minivans? In any case, The Bourne Supremacy lives up to its title as being a supreme movie. 3.5 stars

King Arthur
It's the beginning of the end for King Arthur and his knights. After years of protecting Britain for the falling Roman Empire, it's time to claim their freedom. Whoa, not so fast. One last task remains. Arthur (Clive Owen) and the gang must transport a priest and his family to safety from the Saxons, who are beginning to invade. Once there, Arthur is troubled by the conditions he sees on the priest's lands and takes matters into his own hands. He tells the commoners on his land to follow him. On his way back, his eyes gaze toward Guinevere, played by Keira Knightley. Once he returns, he aims to protect the last remnants of what he governs from the Saxons.

I don’t know about you but the Arthur legends I remember were just that: legendary. Here, director Antoine Fuqua goes completely against the mainstream stories and instead tells the tale of an uninspiring man who led his troops to battle against an enemy he didn’t have to fight at all. And maybe it was because I was dozing off a bit, but why was Knightley fighting again? When did she become an all-out warrior? It’s a different Guinevere than I remembered. All the better though; she basically wore straps onto the battlefield. As for the main villains, they weren’t too villainous, were they? At first, it was Merlin, but he eventually makes nice. The Saxon leader doesn’t show much leadership at all, not saying much and taking his time to make decisions. So is there anyone to look up to in this film? Not really, and that’s why once you get to the final battle scenes, something that might have been extraordinary 10 years ago but now poor against the likes of Braveheart, the Lord of the Rings, and Gladiator, you don’t care about it. It just needed to get resolved. 1.5 stars

I, Robot
In a time when robots have become a vital asset to everyday life, Del Spooner (Will Smith) seems to be the only skeptic. Soon, he's called to the scene of the apparent suicide of Dr. Alfred Lanning (James Cromwell), the creator of these robots. All the clues lead Spooner to believe a robot did it, something the president of the company (Bruce Greenwood), the leading psychologist/scientist (Bridget Moynahan), and his police chief (Chi McBride) deem ridiculous. But with the rollout of a new line of robots comes an apparent mutiny: the robots begin to control themselves. It's up to Spooner to come face-to-face with his enemy in order to keep the robots in line.

"I, Robot" suffers from a cliched story that this movie does not really improve upon with the inclusion of Will Smith and his brand of action and humor. The jokes mostly fall flat and I didn't know which was acting more robotic: the robots themselves or the human actors (with the exception of Smith and Moynahan). Instead, what this movie should be remembered for is its superior special effects. The robot-human interaction looks great and director Alex Proyas and his team should be commended for the final action scene in the catwalks of Viki filled with dazzling camerawork and, well, many, many robots. But the lack of any suspense from the merely average plot makes this a slightly above average movie. 2.5 stars

Judging by its site, Americans Coming Together (ACT) is obviously not a big supporter of President Bush. Any other time then, I'd ignore it, but how can you pass up Will Ferrell playing Bush in a new video? I know I can't. Watch the hilarious commercial at this site.

Yes, it's Friday just after midnight, but it's Friday nonetheless so it's time to wish Jeanette a happy birthday. So happy birthday Jeanette.


I think the building I work in just isn't working with me. For those familiar with the former IBM campus, I'm in the large blue building you can see from the highway. It's the main building covered with windows. And while it looks nice, it really is just a big metal box. And what lies within are many metal walls. And for me, that means electric shocks. Nothing like a nice jolt to wake you up in the morning when you reach out for the doorknob to the stairs. Then there's my cell phone. If you've tried to call during the workday, you've probably heard the voicemail go on. Why? No signal. But now, I can correct that statement to read weak signal. It takes laying the phone down on its side on the opposite side of the desk facing the door. I can get two bars out of that, but if it rings and I pick up, you'll have 10 seconds or so to say something before the connection cuts off.

I could've been in LA tonite watching Last Comic Standing, but that wasn't meant to be. Instead, I had to watch it in my home. But what transpired? Gary and Alonzo are obviously at the top of their respective games. But John's set about the girls in the bar was not the best that he's done. I would have rather seen Kathleen go on, but instead, I predict Alonzo wins it.

Then again, who woulda thought Dat Phan would win it last year?

Toward the end of John Kerry's speech tonight to the Democratic Convention, he said he would say something Franklin Roosevelt never could. Go to JohnKerry.com to learn more about his policies and beliefs he later said. While Kerry meant to convey that there was no Internet back then, you could also say that FDR would be asking, who in the world was John Kerry? After tonight, we know a bit more, but the things we already knew about him were emphasized including, yes, that he went to Vietnam in the war. Now how many times do we have to hear that?

Kerry exuded the optimism every presidential candidate is meant to communicate. By outlining broadly the several directions he wants to take the country, criticizing the Bush Administration on the war in Iraq, and proclaiming that America can do better, Kerry succeeded in conveying a positive message to sway the key undecided voters, whose numbers grow thinner as Election Day draws nearer. However, he did little to blunt the attacks by the Republicans who portray him as a flip-flopper or waffler who originally voted for the war in Iraq.

We know he went to war in Vietnam and he became a prosecutor, but conspicuously missing from his biography or his speech is his 20 years in the Senate. He barely mentioned that significant portion of his life. While he's been to high places in the Senate, including the intelligence committee, he has done little in terms of major legislation.

And what of the speech itself? It seems major lines were taken straight out of the Republican playbook. "Help is on the way" was in both the 2000 Cheney speech and this Kerry speech, as was the line about America would be proud to have John Edwards succeed Dick Cheney as Vice President of the United States. Bush used it in his speech for Cheney and Al Gore. The words honor and dignity have now been replaced with trust and credibility.

The funniest line? I could have been hearing it wrong but I think Kerry misspoke when he said that 25% of Harlem children suffered from asthma because of hair pollution.

Oh well, but in all cases, this convention looks like its been a success. It'll take some time to see if it had its desired effects and one month from now, it's the Republicans' turn.

Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
There have been lots of movies dealing with quests but none seem so close to our lives than this quest for a late-night snack. Harold (John Cho) and Kumar (Kal Penn) are done for the day after a long day of work for Harold and another intentional dive in a medical school interview for Kumar. After getting high, they're hungry and easily suggestible. With a timely commercial from White Castle, their meal is set. But with the restaurant a long journey away, the weirdest things begin to happen. A fight with a raccoon. Dealing with college students and weirdos. Having their car stolen. Ending up in jail. Etc. But when the night is over, life lessons are learned and quite ironically, getting high leads to better things.

It's dumb. It's idiotic. It's far-fetched. But you know what? It's hilarious. Yes, the trademarks of a teen comedy are there: the gross-out jokes, the drug use, and the sex, all done with the usual comic effect. But what makes this comedy work better than the others is the team of Cho and Penn who take the Asian stereotypes in stride and manage to produce consistent laughs throughout the course of the film. At times though, the randomness of a few jokes and scenes knock the wind out of the movie, but director Danny Leiner (who also directed Dude, Where's My Car?) eventually re-captures the comedic rhythm of the film with the help of a few cameos including a freaky Christopher Meloni and a freaky (in a different way) Neil Patrick Harris, who can't escape his Doogie Howser persona. In the end, you may not be craving White Castle, but you just might be hungry for a sequel. 3 stars

One of the lighter moments of The West Wing last season was when President Bartlet was to throw the first pitch at a baseball game. With security threatened at almost every turn, the Secret Service urged him to wear a bullet-proof vest. Charlie had his doubts that his boss could throw the baseball to the plate, so they spent the day practicing.

Flash forward to real life. John Kerry is at the Yankees-Red Sox game getting set to throw the first pitch to a military man back from Iraq. If you don't look too athletic, the next parts don't apply. But Kerry prides himself as being an athletic guy, so these do apply. If you don't want to look like an idiot when throwing a first pitch, you must do at least these two things. You must stand on top of the mound. Don't step up to the front of it. Second, don't one-hop the ball or throw it above the catcher's head.

So what did Kerry do? Stepping up amid cheers and boos from the Boston crowd, site of the Democratic National Convention, he stood in front of the mound, looked at the catcher and threw weakly toward the soldier, one-hopping the ball and having it pass the soldier. That's what is called a wild pitch. Hopefully, he was wearing a vest, since that can mess people up.

Day 1 of the Democratic National Convention saw a positive spin on the Democrats' view of the world today. But under the bright lights and the nice words, you could feel the presence of a greater being in the house, that man being Bill Clinton. As the overseer of the greatest economic expansion in American history largely due to the rising growth of the Internet and e-commerce, Clinton was and still is an eloquent man who fought for what he believed in even if he was morally challenged. He has earned respect from even this Republican. But listening to the speeches tonight, most, including Clinton himself, have been looking at the period of 1993-2001 and saying, look at what we did then, and think about what we can do now. No doubt those years were very good. But that's a good argument to try to re-elect Bill Clinton to the presidency, something I wouldn't be opposed to if it weren't for that Constitution. None of the speakers made a convincing argument to try to connect that to the potential presidency of John Kerry. I'm sorry but John Kerry is no Bill Clinton. If Kerry believes he can ride the coattails of Clinton to a victory, he is sorely mistaken. Voters will be disappointed. Clinton's theme song was not to stop thinking about tomorrow. Kerry can't use the Clinton years as a base for his campaign. Use Clinton to attract a crowd and then communicate his own dreams and ideals for a brighter future.

Some notes about tonight. The rising podium is scary. It's noisy and it seems like it can drop any second to the floor. Hillary Clinton is not the orator her husband is. And do you know who's running for president on the Democratic side? If you heard Hillary, she only mentioned his name probably 100 times.

On MSNBC, Tim Russert tells of the joke Al Gore had to cut out.

Gore says Bush's war on terrorism is like a drunk man looking for his keys. So the guy is looking around and asks a friend to help him find it. "I think I lost it over there," he remarks. So the friend asks, "why are you looking here then?"

"Because the light is over here."

I agree with Jon Stewart sitted next to him.

"Well, that wasn't even funny."

The Olympics are coming up and as a Vietnamese person, I was always curious on how people from the homeland did in the games. And always, it was disappointing. In the history of the Olympics, guess how many medals Vietnam has won so far. Come on, guess. You won't have to guess too many times.

1.

1 time. At the last Olympics in Sydney, a lady won a silver medal in Tae Kwon Do. Other than that, nothing to show. Soccer? Ranked 100th out of 205. Track and field? Might as well get into bobsledding. Are we good at anything else?

Then it all came into focus. Watching TV tonite, a commercial came on to tout the idea of having poker as an Olympic sport. While the description on the site makes the idea sound silly, there is a petition. With all the Vietnamese gamblers out there, you know who you are, and if this was an Olympic sport, I'm sure we'd double our medal total, at least.

Communication is vital in any workplace. But at mine, some forms work better than others. Case in point: instant messaging. My department can't live without it. One co-worker said it's much easier than going around the corner to my office or to even look up my number and calling. My boss even instant messages me. He's three doors away! During one such instance, he was giving me an assignment. At the end, he wrote, "No need to stay extra late!" I said okay, but I was laughing out loud. I probably wasn't going to stay late anyway.

Training for that new system is underway. But so far, it's been a complete mess. I don't think it's even at beta mode yet. The teacher was showing us a new programming language called LUA. Who's ever heard of that? He went on to say that it was written in Brazil. Yeah, like I'd trust a programming language from Brazil. Might as well teach me Scheme again. Well, sometime later, the server crashed in the middle of class so they had to postpone instruction. I just started, but now I think using spreadsheets are much easier than this.

The Sharks released their schedule for the upcoming season, if there is an upcoming season, and lo and behold, there is actually a game relatively close to my birthday. December 18 to be exact. Come on, you know you wanna come along. No? Fine then.

The results for that appraiser test came in and out of the hundreds who took it, my half-serious approach to it got me #10. But you know, they probably only have 9 jobs waiting.

One of the highlights of the New York trip last year was watching Phantom of the Opera on Broadway. That was a wonderful experience and so I have high hopes for the movie coming out this December. But what's with the trailer? It's like Michael Bay edited it. So if you watch the trailer, you just might get a bit dizzy.

The L.A. trip is off. Work won out with end user training and testing of that new system beginning on the day I was supposed to go. Guess who gets to train them? Yes, me, the so-called super user. I'm obviously qualified to do it considering my 4 days worth of experience using the system.

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
In 1970s San Diego, no San Diegan goes without the news. And the most-watched news comes from none other than Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) and his team (David Koechner, Paul Rudd, and Steve Carell). The four have certainly enjoyed this all-male society, taking advantage of the parties, the drinking, and the women. But time is catching up to them. Hailing from the east is Veronica (Christina Applegate) with her dreams of becoming an anchor herself. The team, especially Ron, have their doubts about her, looking at her as another woman to hit on, something Ron succeeds in doing. But a freak incident involving Ron’s dog sends his career on a downward spiral while Veronica’s skyrockets. Eventually, everyone seems to adjust to Veronica’s style while Ron hits rock-bottom. Will he ever recover?

There is no doubt that without Ferrell, this film is a dud. It is his lunacy and over-the-top psychotic style that gives the film, a skit stretched to 95 minutes, enough laughs to make it through the whole thing. That’s not to say the rest of the cast wasn’t good. Carell is the stand-out performer as the dim-witted weatherman and the cameos from the usual suspects like Jack Black, Ben Stiller, and Vince Vaughn spice things up. However, various gags are dead on arrival or overstay their welcome. A couple of scenes were met with dead silence from the audience. It puts a damper on a comedy that’s a few jokes short of greatness. To its credit though, Ron Burgundy has spawned a wealth of promotional material that’s even funnier than the film itself including the actors’ news conference and the two skits in the MTV Movie Awards. 2.5 stars

The Terminal
Viktor Navorski (Tom Hanks) had a simple task to undertake. It would probably take a day to do and the implications of which would last for the rest of his life. If only he could get into the country. His home country became unrecognized by the United States due to a civil war that broke out while Viktor was en route to New York City. As a result, his passport and visa are unusable to enter but with a war going on, he can’t go back either. Viktor now is in limbo. His situation falls into the hands of Frank Dixon (Stanley Tucci), head of security at JFK and hoping to rise on the hierarchy at Homeland Security. But what was once a minor incident becomes a major nuisance as Viktor makes his home in the terminal, waiting it out until either country can get its act together. But during his stay, he becomes a bit more American, befriending the workers of the airport and falling for the flight attendant with the complicated love life, Amelia, played by Catherine Zeta-Jones.

A lot of “The Terminal” was difficult to swallow at first glance. Why wasn’t Dixon more forceful in getting Viktor out? How about Viktor? Why was Viktor’s task so ridiculous? Could Amelia be that dumb? How did everything Viktor do turn out to be so right? Once the initial disbelief passes, you have a piece of work that could pass itself off as a decent comedy, but lacks any real drama, and barely has any romanticism. There was a definite lack of chemistry between Hanks and Zeta-Jones. Maybe it was the accent, which Hanks laid pretty thick. At times, I think we needed subtitles to understand his broken English. The fish-out-of-water material Viktor does to acclimate himself to a new culture is quite humorous, especially the initial weeks in which he needs to get money to eat, but otherwise, the other half of the film is dead on arrival. 2 stars

I was going over the statistics page for the blog and it notes that I passed 150,000 words. Oh my, I don't know what's worse, the realization that I wrote 150,000 words or the possibility that some guy out there has had their life ruined by wasting their time reading these 150,000 words. For the record, this is post #457. My skills as a math major tell me that there are 43 more posts until 500.

So I took that appraiser test today. 100 fellow test-takers (plus many more with the announcement that more groups were expected later in the day) tackled the 75-question exam, ranging from basic math to understanding basic appraisal rules. Those appraisal passages were very lengthy and I wasn't taking this test very seriously so I just chose the answer that seemed right. Maybe I wasn't taking the test seriously enough. Once I got to to question 60, I looked around and people were just on #20 or 30. I finished a hour early and got out of there as quickly as I could.

This week, with the return of my manager, I actually had work to do as the first full week of the quarter was underway. It mainly dealt with in-quarter tracking. The business unit is really bad at this. It can't predict how many drives it will sell one month ahead, let alone one quarter ahead. So continuing the work a contractor did before, I updated the data and saw what developed. Next week, I begin my training of a new supply chain management system, in which I am a so-called super user.

Last night, with Jeanette along for the ride, we got to see Jon's new place in Mountain View. It's a remarkably clean studio apartment nestled by Highway 237. From the outside, it looked nice enough, and it was quiet. That's always key to any place. But with the darkness, we didn't get to see what Jon considers the gem of the complex, the deserted pool.

We also got to see the new Camera Cinemas downtown, watching Anchorman. What used to be an 8-screen theatre for United Artists is now a 12-screen theatre. But one thing remains from its predecessor: the emptiness. On its grand opening Friday night, with a major movie opening, the theatre was only half-full. Take advantage of the special offer: $1 popcorn and drinks for the rest of the weekend.

Last Comic Standing is hitting the home stretch with only two more comics to kick off before the final event. I might be going to that final event in L.A. in the first week of August, so we'll see what happens. Who do I want to see take it? Probably either Corey or Kathleen.

I applaud Kerry's choice of Edwards as his VP choice. But if somebody mentions that Edwards is the son of the millworker again, I'll have to scream. During the primaries, I privately wished Edwards was the nominee. But then again, I'd rather see Bush re-elected. Edwards certainly makes up for Kerry's lack of charisma. And Kerry makes up for Edwards' lack of experience. It'll be a powerful combo, but not powerful enough to sway votes. It will ultimately be Bush vs. Kerry that'll decide it. I'm betting Bush wants Cheney to have a heart attack or something so he could get Powell or McCain or Giuliani to run in the VP spot. J/K.

Finally, my brother pointed this out to me earlier. Robot is not the Spanish word for robot, but advertising in Latin America has the title for "I, Robot" as "Yo, Robot" which can be said in many, often funny, ways.

Happy belated Independence Day! Nothing says 4th of July than barbeque and Paris by Night screaming in the background. Did you know they're in the seventies now? I had no idea they got to there by now. Last I checked, they were on 18 or something.

Go to this link at Ain't It Cool for a hilarious news conference from the Anchorman team. It opens Friday.

Before I got this job at Hitachi, I spent March and April applying for work, sending out the resumes and seeing what stuck. Well, very little stuck. But, one opportunity hanging by a thread opened up just yesterday, two months after I applied. It was an appraiser job for the county. They invited me to take an exam next weekend. Now I find it hilarious that they would wait this long before they tell me, but my parents said just take it anyway. Couldn't hurt they said, and it might pay more. So that's where I'll be next Saturday. I won't plan for it too much. I read that last time, 300 people took the exam, 60 people passed, and 5 got the job.

In response to Steves in a comment below, yes, I'm happy Dat Phan has found success in the world. He has accomplished a lot so far as a comedian. If you watch him once, and only once, his material is hilarious. The problem with him is, we saw him perform on the show probably 4-6 times, and each time, the same exact jokes. The guy in the stall gyrating. The funny Asian voice. Put in something about karate. Same jokes about his family. It was all getting tired. He didn't even do variations of jokes; he did it exactly as he did it the first time, as if he was a machine. Appearances on the Tonight Show, Comedy Central, BET, etc. All the same jokes from what I can see. He's touring now. That's great. Not only are people watching him (hopefully), he now has an hour's worth of material to spit out probably with varying degrees of success since he would have said them all already many, many times. As for Dave Mordal, I like cynical humor, and not just that, he also had variety. He was consistently funny and I felt bad he got kicked out before America could vote.

And Dodgeball? That's one fine film. I wish I could say the same for White Chicks. No wait, I don't wish that at all.

White Chicks
Remember when the Wayans Bros. were funny? Me too! "In Living Color", that's right. But with the exception of the first "Scary Movie", it has been one dud after another. Chalk "White Chicks" up as another dud. Shawn and Marlon Wayans are Kevin and Marcus Copeland, FBI agents on the verge of being fired. Their last hope is an assignment to protect the Wilson sisters from a kidnapping plot. When the group gets into an accident and the sisters are unable to show themselves in the Hamptons, the Copelands take it upon themselves to act as the sisters to keep the cover. While trying to learn more about the would-be kidnappers, Kevin and Marcus are forced to assimilate into high-society sisterhood in a few short days.

Aside from the fact that the movie is short-sighted and implausible, the mere look of the sisters is totally wrong. How could everyone be fooled into thinking that they are actually the sisters? Just put up a picture of them and compare side-by-side. I'm sure you'll notice a difference. Recent gender/race reversal parts have also had actors who could easily pass off as the ones they are portraying. Eddie Murphy, Robin Williams, and even Dave Chappelle are examples. The Wayans don't act the part like those actors did and though their blatant flibs are scripted, by then, somebody should have questioned them, right? But nope, they take it in stride. The jokes and gags are few and far between and those that work are beaten incessantly with repetition. Quite possibly, the mere thought of the Wayans Bros. as white women would and should carry this film, but it doesn't. The joke gets tired long before the credits mercifully roll. 1/2 star