If this is true, it's creepy. If it isn't, it's damn funny. The power of eBay at work, even though it's illegal on eBay to sell this item. (Update: The link's been taken down.)

Vincent Gallo is an actor of independent films, most notably Buffalo '66 and The Brown Bunny, the latter of which he made and features him enjoying fellatio from Chloe Sevigny. But I digress. It seems on eBay, through a third party, he is selling his sperm to the highest bidder, minimum bid $1 million. What amuses me are the extra conditions and possible discounts you can get for buying his sperm. To summarize:

1. The bidding price includes one attempt at in-vitro fertilization (additional attempts will cost the bidder but the sperm will keep coming at no extra charge), but if a woman wants to be naturally inseminated, it'll cost an extra $500,000. Of course, Gallo will waive the fee if he is presented with multiple photos of the lucky lady and he approves.

2. He has the right to refuse if the winner is a woman of "dark complexion".

3. If the woman has naturally blonde hair and blue eyes, you get a $50,000 discount.

4. If you're related to a "German soldier of the mid-century", you can also get the above $50,000 discount.

5. Gallo favors a Jewish mother since "this connection to the Jewish faith would guarantee his offspring a better chance at good reviews and maybe even a prize at the Sundance Film Festival or an Oscar."

6. The baby's surname can't be Gallo.

I just feel sorry for the winning bidder, if such a person exists.