Great Dilbert on Sunday.

Very quietly, this blog turned 3 a couple of days ago. 584 posts later, have you learned anything? Probably not except that I watch a ton of movies. (Only 10 so far this year...what's up with that?)

Coincidentally, it all started with a review of Attack of the Clones, the lackluster film that preceded Revenge of the Sith. I caught a glimpse of it again on FOX, and I must say, I should revise that 2.5 stars to something lower. I just couldn't watch the thing.

Some tidbits on last Friday's screening:

Lively, mostly adult crowd. I say adult because the PR system went on and called down a guy to the lobby because his mother was waiting to see him. Of course, it could have been a geek without a ride, but the whole audience reacted with delight.

Not many people liked The Chronicles of Narnia trailer, which I describe as Lord of the Rings without the rings. Just a few seconds in, somebody yelled out "Next!"

Lots of guys cheered when Angelina Jolie came on-screen for her movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith but when Brad Pitt came on, only a single deep male voice could be heard.

In line, there were the lightsabers and stormtroopers of course, but I couldn't figure out the guy whose costume consisted of just a cape.

When Yoda and Obi-Wan were reacting to the news that Padme had twins, I was totally expecting Yoda to say "Double the trouble this is."

Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
The war between the Republic and the Separatists continues as Chancellor Palpatine has been kidnapped by General Grievous and Count Dooku. Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) comes up with a plan to rescue him and with the overwhelming help of Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen), does so. While Anakin feels proud of what he's done, he's troubled by visions of Padme's (Natalie Portman) impending death after her pregnancy. The comfort he finds comes from the Chancellor himself, who tells him she could be saved if he learned the teachings of the dark side from him. Anakin is utterly confused at this point, but trusts his feelings to go to Master Windu (Samuel L. Jackson) with his findings. When Windu takes his information and runs, Anakin feels used and abandoned by the Jedi, pretty much completing his move to the dark side and his allegiance to Darth Sidious.

Starting out, "Revenge of the Sith" was headed down the mediocre path set forth by George Lucas' first two efforts. Special effects that wow us but do nothing for the story. Cringing romantic scenes between Padme and Anakin (I still say it doesn't look right). Anakin continuing to be the whining and pouting teenager he should have left behind from "Attack of the Clones" (ohhh, they won't let me become a Jedi master...boo-hoo). But while Anakin's move to the dark side had ramifications for the Jedi in that galaxy, in this one, it did wonders for the film. Finally, Christensen gets comfortable and looks the part Lucas meant for him to play. The story becomes crisp and compelling, never needing an overwhelming space battle or two armies going at each other to keep our attention. Instead, focusing on the conflicts between individual characters was the best route and they produced some great lightsaber scenes. Anakin's transformation in the end sends enough chills down your spine and all the loose ends that connect this episode to the fourth one are refreshing to see. So at last the puzzle is complete, and what a final piece it is. 3.5 stars

I like Star Trek. Can you tell? Since 1987 when the Next Generation debuted, the modern Star Trek spinoffs have been great adventures where no one has gone before. But after Deep Space Nine left the airwaves, something about Voyager was amiss. It had its moments but it's no TNG. You'd think the people in charge would figure out what was wrong with Star Trek before trotting out a new series but no. Less than one year after Voyager, they figured Star Wars could do a prequel, why can't we? So Enterprise was born, focusing on the first Warp 5 earth ship.

I had my doubts. You always run the risk of continuity problems when dealing with the past. You may want to debut that new weapon you have, but did they have that in the future? The Star Trek timeline is very important to the devoted fans, as evidenced by the number of ST: Encyclopedia books out there. And there was the fatigue factor. The 4th ST series in 15 years isn't going to make people tired? But like most fans, I tried it out, and as expected, didn't work with me. Watching Enterprise get bullied around every episode wasn't my idea of entertainment. As a result, I tuned out, as did millions of others, eventually reaching the point where its rating hit 2-3 points, great for UPN but pathetic for even a ST series.

I finally got back to it this year and was pleased with the improvement. But the series' fate was sealed long before I tuned back in. Last night was Enterprise's finale. If it was a season finale, I'd say it was great. But that's only because there's a 6-year gap in the timeline that could have been discussed if there were more episodes to watch. Instead, it was an average series finale which tried to answer most questions through Riker asking them. Wow, does he look old. I know he's trying to look 10 years younger to fit the Pegasus storyline, but man, he can barely fit into that uniform.

So here's my idea for Star Trek. Wait. Wait before you do anything else. Let people soak in what you got. The DVD's are still coming out and being watched. Nobody watched Nemesis; let people watch that too. If anything, take another page out of George Lucas' book and re-release TNG with those cool ship effects from the finale (Enterprise-D has never looked better). But wait until the next great idea comes to you.

Monster-in-Law
If your future daughter-in-law was Jennifer Lopez, you'd probably welcome her with open arms. But if you're Viola Fields (Jane Fonda), it's a whole different story. Her talk show has just been canned and at one of her low points in life, she decides to pick herself up by spending more time with her son, Kevin (Michael Vartan). One problem. Kevin just got engaged to Charlie (Lopez). So instead of getting along with her, Viola tries to push Charlie away by being needy and overbearing. Will her childish behavior be enough to drive Charlie crazy or does love truly conquer all?

It's hard to pinpoint what was going on with this film. You've got the Meet the Parents blueprint down pat but without the predecessor's aura of hilarity and lack of seriousness. You never get the sense to feel sorry for Charlie, like you do for Ben Stiller's character in Meet the Parents since he never gets a chance to fight back the way Charlie does, and that occurs pretty suddenly. Vartan and Lopez have a lot of chemistry when they're actually on-screen, which is not too often. Fonda certainly looks the part but doesn't feel right for the part. She never gets too comfortable, though none of the characters to varying degrees looked comfortable. Probably the only shining star to produce laugh-out-loud moments is Wanda Sykes in the role of Viola's assistant. 1.5 stars

Mindhunters
The FBI can only be as good as the people that work for it. To that end, constant training is needed constantly. One such training facility is on a remote island, which is the setting for the dilemma of 7 agents, who face a deadly situation. Each one is the target and only one knows who the mastermind is since one of them is the mastermind. So as each go down one by one, it's up to the agents to learn as quick as they can before they die. A semi-famous cast star in the film headed up by Val Kilmer, LL Cool J, Christian Slater, and Cold Case's Kathryn Morris.

Having watched this last year, I've got a vague memory of the film. But I can tell you this, it's not much of a movie, since it's pretty obvious who the killer is. Once you know who it is, it just gets to be a matter of how these people die and it seems director Renny Harlin, who's capable of much better, tried to make each killing more weird and shocking each time. I still think the best one was the freezing of the legs and watching them shatter, but hey's that's just me. With the big recap at the end showing step-by-step how the killer did it, you might just wanna see the last 15 minutes. Of course, you wouldn't see the ridiculous killings, but hey, will you even watch it? 1 star

Talking to my friend graduating from Cal, he expressed a little disappointment by the name recognition of the speaker at commencement this year. Last year, if you recall, it was Ted Koppel. And they've gotten Bill Cosby, Madeline Albright, and Janet Reno before. Yet this year, the nation's #1 public university has turned to Benjamin Barber to handle the speaking duties this year. Gee, I think even Jonny Moseley is more popular than he is. About 10 to 15 speakers turned Cal down before choosing Barber in what's bound to be one of the least-attended commencements in history. With no diplomas given out, there really isn't a reason to attend except to have a place for all of your friends to celebrate together.

Work's fine. I met the CEO yesterday. Boy, does he have a mouth. In our few minutes of conversation, he cursed quite a few times.

Spaceballs: The Collector's Edition came out Tuesday in the continuing search for more money.

Wanna see something freaky? Go to zabasearch.com and enter your name. From property tax records and other databases that can be easily accessed, it can find where you live. Luckily, I'm not in there, but who would have thought there would be 26 people with my name in California?