4/28/2005

As we hit up May, it's time for that critical 4 month period where studios make most of their money for the year. While a multitude of movies will be shown for all to see, only a handful will be considered must-see. Leading the pack? Star Wars: Episode III of course. Come on, midnight showing! Who's with me?

May 6

Crash - From writer/director Paul Haggis comes a look at the complexities of racial conflict in Los Angeles featuring an all-star cast including Sandra Bullock, Don Cheadle, Matt Dillon, Ludacris, and Ryan Phillippe.

House of Wax - Teens find a house filled with wax figures and must escape before they become part of the exhibit. Taking away some of the suspense is Paris Hilton, who has already announced she dies in the film.

Kingdom of Heaven - From the director of Gladiator, Ridley Scott, comes another period piece, this time set in 12th century Europe as Christians and Muslims fight over the Holy Land. Orlando Bloom stars.

May 13

Kicking and Screaming - Will Ferrell takes on the task of transforming a youth soccer team into a winner.

Mindhunters - Two and a half years and counting. That's how long this film has been on the shelf waiting to be released. I've watched it and I know why it's been 2 1/2 years. It sucks big time. But seeing as how this is the 4th time I've written about it, just release the thing and make whatever money you can.

Monster-in-Law - Jennifer Lopez just wants to be married to Michael Vartan. Not a simple task with his mother (Jane Fonda) in the way.

Unleashed - Jet Li stars as a fighter who escaped his death-match past and befriended a blind piano teacher (Morgan Freeman). His past comes back to haunt him however when his former master finds him to bring him back.

May 19

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith - The eagerly anticipated final piece of the 6-part puzzle that is the Star Wars mythos. The Clone Wars are at an end but a rising empire awaits the Republic.

May 27

The Longest Yard - Adam Sandler tries out football again as he leads his prison football team in a game against the guards.

Madagascar - Ben Stiller, David Schwimmer, Jada Pinkett Smith and Chris Rock are the voices of 4 animals mistakenly shipped off to the island country of Madagascar.

June 3

Cinderella Man - You know what we need? Another movie about boxing. Yes we do. Russell Crowe, an out-of-work former boxer, gets another shot at the ring during the Depression era.

Lords of Dogtown - This '70s skating flick is rated PG-13 for "drugs and alcohol content, sexuality, violence, language and reckless behavior - all involving teens." So R wasn't an option?

The Sisterhood of Traveling Pants - 4 girls decide to keep in touch by exchanging a pair of pants. Make sure you wash them before sending them on.

June 10

The Adventures of Lava Boy and Shark Girl in 3-D - From Robert Rodriguez comes another 3-D adventure (Spy Kids) courtesy of an idea from his son Racer. Stars David Arquette and Kristin Davis.

The Honeymooners - Based on the classic TV show, Mike Epps and Cedric the Entertainer take over the main roles.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith - It's the movie that touched off the whole Jennifer Aniston/Brad Pitt gossip. Married couple Pitt and Angelina Jolie find out they are assassins for competing agencies and discover their next target is each other.

June 15

Batman Begins - In the hopes of shaking off Joel Schumacher's nipple costumes, director Christopher Nolan returns to Batman's roots with Christian Bale in the title role.

June 17

The Perfect Man - Hilary Duff tries to hook her mom up with a man. But when your mom is Heather Locklear, this should be a 10-minute movie, right?

June 24

Bewitched - Based on the classic TV show, a revival is in the works with Nicole Kidman as the bewitching star and Will Ferrell as her husband.

Herbie: Fully Loaded - Remember that Herbie the Love Bug? Well, it gets a CGI-facelift and a very attractive driver with Lindsay Lohan at the wheel.

George A. Romero's Land of the Dead - Even the title gives me the creeps.

June 29

War of the Worlds - Tom Cruise and Steven Spielberg are at it again. Based on the movie and the H.G. Wells story, Cruise leads his loved ones to safety as aliens invade Earth. Who wants to bet there's a slow-motion shot of Cruise running? Anyone?

July 1

Rebound - Martin Lawrence is a college basketball coach who must save face by coaching a junior high team to victory.

July 8

Dark Water - A psychological thriller from the creators of The Ring stars Jennifer Connelly as a woman who tries to start fresh at raising her daughter only to find her apartment has taken on a life of its own.

Fantastic Four - Michael Chiklis, Jessica Alba, Chris Evans, and Ioan Gruffudd constitute the Fantastic Four based on the comic book.

July 15

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Loved the story. Hated the musical. But this time, all is about to change with Tim Burton at the helm and Johnny Depp as the star.

Happy Endings - Another movie about people's lives intertwining with Lisa Kudrow as the star.

Hustle and Flow - The tale of a Memhis pimp who becomes a rapper won rave reviews at Sundance.

The Wedding Crashers - This adult comedy stars Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn as two guys who crash weddings to hit on the ladies. This time, they meet their match in Rachel McAdams and Isla Fisher.

July 22

Bad News Bears - Billy Bob Thornton takes over Walter Matthau's role as drunk manager of the little league baseball team.

The Island - From Michael Bay comes a futuristic thriller starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson as two clones who try to escape the facility that harvests their body parts when needed.

July 29

The Brothers Grimm - When a movie has the saltry Monica Bellucci, I'll try to watch. In this delayed film, Matt Damon and Heath Ledger promise to exorcize the ghost that exist but eventually get cursed.

Sky High - If you're the son of superheroes, your future inevitably involves being a superhero. But with no powers to your name, what are you going to do? Ummm, get high?

Stealth - Remember when Chris Rock told producers to wait for the right person to star in your movie instead of rushing anyone out there to act? Well, the producers at Steath have a $125 million film on their hands about naval pilots threatened by a computerized jet. Who's starring? Jessica Biel and Josh Lucas. Wow. Sure, Jamie Foxx is in it too, but he's in a supporting role.

August 5

Broken Flowers - In this limited release, Bill Murray discovers he has a 20-year-old son. If only he knew who the mother was.

The Dukes of Hazzard - Revival summer continues as this TV show from the past gets a movie. Seann William Scott, Johnny Knoxville, and Jessica Simpson star.

The Pink Panther - Inspector Clouseau lives on as Steve Martin takes on the role in search of a ring.

August 12

Deuce Bigelow: European Gigolo - Title says it all, doesn't it?

Four Brothers - Foster brothers team up to solve the case of their murdered caretaker.

The Skeleton Key - Kate Hudson tries to break her streak of awful films by taking up a horror flick.

August 19

The 40-Year-Old Virgin - Steve Carell plays the title role with the object of his affection being Catherine Keener.

Domino - Keira Knightley is a bounty hunter. Ignoring its Man on Fire look, watching Knightley as a bounty hunter is worth the price of admission.

Red Eye - Rachel McAdams gets kidnapped on a flight by that guy in scrubs from 28 Days Later.

August 26

The Cave - Imagine going into a cave and never coming out. Well, that's the story of The Cave, a place that the advertising says is below Hell. Stars Piper Perabo. Piper Perabo? Really?

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