With the sounds of Danny Deever going off at the Campanile while I was on the eighth floor of Evans busily finishing my homework, it signaled the end of an era if you will. Today is the last day of school. 4 years ago, I was the small, portly kid who dressed in what seemed to be the same polo shirt everyday carrying large math books and running from class to class in the shadow of big seniors . Today, I'm still that person, not that much running in me anymore but, you know, the same. Once two more finals are done, that's it. I get to go home and be a bum.

To those who'd like to show up, the Economics graduation is on Thursday, May 20 at 2 pm at the Greek Theatre. The Mathematics graduation is on Monday, May 24 at 11 am in Zellerbach Hall. If you tag along, you can get free food from my parents. So come along and cheer, then eat.

What follows are the 50 things I learned and discovered at Berkeley. Some serious, some not. Why 50? I don't know, it's just a number. I've got more if anyone else wants to read mediocre work. It was done in Financial Economics, a very boring class out of many boring classes I had at Cal.

1. Evans Hall isn't ugly. It's abstract.

2. Math majors are under the most stress, so it's probably wrong to place them on the top 4 floors of Evans.

3. If you never spend a night in Soda, then you can't be considered a CS major.

4. There's no soda in Soda Hall.

5. Soda Hall really does have showers in the basement, but it's cardkey access only.

6. South Hall, the oldest building on campus, is home to the graduate program of information management and systems.

7. Wurster Hall is home to the architecture department. Hopefully, someone failed for designing that.

8. Economics and business are very important at Berkeley; the school always seems to be out of money.

9. While only one sex act that I know of has been broadcast from the UC Berkeley dorms, you know there's more of that kind of stuff going on there.

10. Just because they're giving away free stuff doesn't mean you have to use it.

11. As far as I can tell, there are no fish sculptures on the Cal campus.

12. All GSIs know what they're talking about. If only they spoke coherent English.

13. Sports rarely do find success at Cal unless they're playing rugby.

14. Putting underwear, or any kind of clothes, in the microwave is probably not the best of ideas.

15. Potholes are all around Berkeley; it's the city's effort to get you of the car and out walking or riding in a bus.

16. The bus schedule says one comes every 10 minutes? Ha, try 3 buses every 30 minutes.

17. 90% of what you get walking through Sproul is screaming to get thrown away.

18. What slogan do both Mexico and Berkeley share? Don't drink the water. One look at Strawberry Creek will have you convinced.

19. The only nice homeless people are clean homeless people because it shows they are smart enough to go to a shelter and clean themselves and they're shrewd enough to make enough simply by panhandling.

20. When you see a homeless person and a 10-year-old possess a cell phone in the same day, it's time to get one.

21. If you ride BART long enough, you too can get a free newspaper.

22. BART rides can be up to 3 hours without paying the highest fare.

23. Never sit in the concrete bowl for the bonfire rally unless you want your face fried.

24. Berkeley isn't an activist town like it used to be but the only sane people on campus are those without a cause to fight for.

25. There's Statistics 2, 20, 21, and 25. While different majors require a different class, don't be fooled; they all teach the same thing.

26. You know you're spirited if you yell out "Go Bears!" at random points throughout the day.

27. Don't be fooled by the optimism of a multiple-choice test. It could have 10-12 choices per question.

28. If you can figure out the Dwinelle room numbering system, you'll be light-years ahead of anyone else.

29. Never get on a waitlist. Chances are, you'll still be waiting.

30. La rondelle is French for puck.

31. Oski never says anything. Doesn't even growl.

32. Ever wonder what it would be like to have a movie theatre in your own bedroom? Go upstairs at the UA Berkeley to find out.

33. DC food is only good when adults are coming to eat too.

34. Okay, DC food isn't that bad...as long as you don't mind starving yourself every once in a while.

35. A delightful exception is the omelet they make there.

36. The way the campus population is growing, I wouldn't be surprised to find 6-8 people in a dorm room.

37. People's Park really is for one kind of person.

38. Once there, don't find yourself accepting a massage.

39. Yes, we hate Stanfurd, but feel free to wear cardinal red. Just not on football days. The crowd might kill ya.

40. Watch out for the Axe but don't be scared of it. It's glued to a board and carried by two guys at all times.

41. Berkeley's the only UC campus on the semester schedule. Doesn't that make us special?

42. There's also a 10-minute rule. Classes start 10 minutes after it is scheduled. Don't be like my friend who got up and left class 10 minutes early.

43. Why do we need affirmative action at Cal? Pair up any two white people, chances are they don't know each other. Pair up any two Asians, they probably look alike but still, they don't know each other. Pair up two African-Americans? Why, they're the best of buddies.

44. Did a camera flash blind your eyes? Don't worry, that's just another Asian businessman taking yet another picture.

45. Scare people taking the tour by mentioning how commonplace a 2.5 GPA can be.

46. When the rally committee tells you to pass the cards to the right after a card trick, don't succumb to peer pressure by throwing it in the air. Play nice and pass them.

47. Think Democrats overspend? Look at the ASUC, which ran out of money the first week of school.

48. Even with no money and 3-day meetings, ASUC manages to attract 100 people to annoy the hell out of us for one month a year.

49. Lock your bicycle frame and wheel. If not, they'll steal your front tire. What would anyone need a front tire for? I can see it now..."damn, I bought this bike but it doesn't have a front tire."

50. Go Bears!