5/02/2004

Tonite, the prepsterous and ridiculous 10.5 is being shown on NBC. And the only thing funnier than the film itself apparently is the critics' bashing of the film. They seem to be in agreement in the fact that the film is so bad that it's good.

The best review so far comes from Tim Goodman at the SF Chronicle. To quote:

"This miniseries may be the ultimate drinking-game movie. There are so many weary disaster-movie cliches here and so much write-by-numbers formula that the entire country could wobble over drunk on Sunday and come back for two more hair-of-the-dog hours on Monday. In fact, "10.5" is so joyously awful that if you dare undertake participation-style viewing connected in some manner to alcohol you'll have to rein in the number of tip-off moments. Try these: 1. When someone looks shocked -- shocked! -- at any kind of news delivered to them. 2. When the treacly music roars up from behind. 3. When it feels like "Saturday Night Live." Do not, under any circumstances, base tipping-point moments on when someone cries, or yells, or freaks out, or demands that someone "do something" or when there are dramatic close-ups or people are seen running like wild animals."

"Later (Fred) Ward, who really disembowels his career here, is hired by Bridges to head up the campaign to stop the earthquakes from continuing. Yes, you read that right. Eventually he green-lights the use of a nuclear weapon to do this. Naturally. Ward is really something. "According to your hidden fault theory, we could be looking at the Big One," he says to Delaney. Oh, Fred, you're soaking in the Big One, buddy."

"David Cubitt stars as the Guy Who Looks Stunned by Everything Kim Delaney Says and, later in the movie, as the Guy Who Advances the Plot by Asking Questions Only Delaney Can Explain. Example: From a helicopter Delaney realizes the Kern River is acting weird (just go with it). Cubitt: "It changed direction? How's that possible?" How indeed? And how is it possible this movie got made?"

"Ivan Sergei ("Crossing Jordan") and Dule Hill ("The West Wing") are featured as young doctors because every disaster movie needs medical miracles."

"John Schneider ("Smallville") and Kelly Cuoco ("8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter") also appear, because every disaster movie needs a father and daughter starting out at odds, falling into peril and finally bonding."

"You have to love a movie that topples the Space Needle and the Golden Gate Bridge almost immediately, but it's a truly special occasion when you can watch an earthquake follow a train down the tracks and swallow it up like a shark chasing a swimmer in "Jaws." That alone is almost worth the four-hour price of admission to "10.5" because, if nothing else, it gives keen insight into the rest of the movie. After all, if you can dream up a scenario in which an earthquake CHASES A TRAIN DOWN THE TRACKS, well, anything is possible."

"A favorite scene has Delaney and Cubitt poring over maps (maps and computers that zoom in on things and beep a lot are very popular in "10.5"). Delaney says excitedly about some aftershocks: "These are not from our fault. They are from the faults affected by our fault." Well, hell, it's somebody's fault."

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