The VSA culture show is tonite. $12 at the door at 5:00pm and running for 3 hours. Zellerbach Hall in Berkeley.

Before I watched the sneak of Kill Bill: Vol. 2 in the city, there was predictably a huge line. Some wimpy security lady was concerned about the coiling line in the lobby and asked us to move it outside. It was cold and windy that night and many of us screamed that fact. So she left. 10 minutes later, she brought along a huge fat guy with a security uniform with the badge sewn on and told us to move outside. No one seemed to want to stand up to him so we did. And by then, it was raining, which sucked a lot since I left the apartment with only a shirt on.

My friend notified me of a site called pornolize.com, which is extremely funny. You enter in a site and this site will pornolize it for you. It looks like all it does is add nicknames to all the proper names it can find and replaces adjectives and verbs with porn adjectives and nouns. But it sorta keeps the structure of what they were trying to say and that makes it funny.

Heads up to the Iron Chef fans out there. Next week debuts Iron Chef: America on Food Network. Unlike the awful Iron Chef: USA hosted by William Shatner, this one has the approval of its Japanese creators and has helped by allowing Iron Chef French Sakai and Iron Chef Japanese Morimoto to compete against the best of the Food Network chefs, Mario Batali, Bobby Flay, and Wolfgang Puck. It's sure to be quite the battle. It's on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday next weekend.

Watching the news, it's become apparent to me why Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger does all these causes. He wants a free jacket. The after school initiative, running for governor, Props 57 and 58, and now the workers compensation reform, every time he seriously campaigns, he has a jacket made for him specifically for this, always black and always with the message on the front and back. Quite shrewd on his part and you know what? He's never lost.

Anyone who's watched the Apprentice knows that Bill won and has decided to head up the construction effort of one of Trump's hotels in Chicago. So what of Kwame? He has the opportunity to work at KFC for a week! He could become Chief Sales Officer and try to come up with a new advertising initiative for its roasted chicken. He could also work for Mark Cuban. But is he worth it? My brother's friend went to Harvard Business School with Kwame and remarks that he is a tool.

Congrats to the Sharks for eliminating the Blues in the first round. It lets them focus on more legal matters. Mike Danton provided some spark in the Blues losing effort, but dejected from losing, he was bound to board a plane back to St. Louis until FBI agents arrested him on murder charges! This is too weird. Apparently, he caught wind of a hitman after him and consulted a friend to get a hitman to kill the first hitman, and in the process, offering $10,000 to do the job, along with the set-up (the house was supposed to be burglarized to cover it up). But the friend turned him in. Everyone sees the problem right? First, he needed to offer more than $10,000. No one in their right mind would do a job like that for a measly $10,000. The second is to cover your tracks. You needed the hitman to kill the friend as well, and then you need to finish the job by killing the hitman. By planning ahead with more money and ambition, he could be sitting pretty, but now, Mike Danton gets to sit pretty next to some jailhouse inmate.

Now that I'm number one when you search for the word ranting in many search engines including Yahoo, MSN, and Altavista, (How? I'll never know) the goal now is to become number one on Google. A quick check shows I'm number 36. I'll keep track of it on the sidebar.