Gigli
Larry Gigli (Ben Affleck) is your typical hit-man. Get the information you're hired to get and then get rid of him. This time, he gets a different job. He's hired to kidnap the mentally challenged brother of a powerful district attorney. By mentally challenged, think Dustin Hoffman in "Rain Man", but at a much lower level. What he doesn't know is that the guy has also hired another person as backup. Enter Jennifer Lopez as the lesbian partner in this scheme. As you can expect, without sex in a relationship, there's fighting and plenty of it. But at some point in the movie, they bond, and quite shockingly, learn to live with one another. Along the way, writer-director Martin Brest puts in some cameos as Christopher Walken is typical Walken, Lainie Kazan is her typical funny self but totally unneeded, and Al Pacino is more over-the-top than usual as the New York mobster who's the top man in this operation. And I think the ending is just like the one from "The Wizard" when the weird kid finally spots where he wanted to go all this time while riding along on the freeway.

So here's hoping that when Affleck and Lopez fell in love, it was on the set of Jersey Girl, because if their real love life was like their on-screen chemistry in this film, there wouldn't be talk of marriage but of breakup since there is none. Who would like to fall in love with a character like Gigli in the first place? Played by Affleck, this bad guy turned good guy in performed with utter ineptitude. Affleck can't turn this trick. It's either one or the other. IIRC, he's only played two bad guys. He was a car thief in Reindeer Games, though he turned out to do the right thing. And he was that evil angel in Dogma and at least he stayed evil in that one. In Gigli, watching Affleck try to pull off the mobster role is just as cringing as trying to watch Hayden Christensen court Natalie Portman in Attack of the Clones.

The dialogue is plain awful. I won't even dignify it by quoting from it. The transitions in the script from the crime part to the relationship part are pretty bad though you wouldn't know the crime parts if it hit you on the head the way the two kept chauffeuring the kidnapped boy all over L.A. You mean to tell me the cops never make a peep about it? Okay, so it's bad, but it's so laughingly bad, it'll get something for that. 1/2 star