Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle
Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore, and Lucy Liu are back as Natalie, Dylan, and Alex to solve another mystery for Charlie. This one involves two rings that decode the identities of everyone in the Witness Protection Program including Dylan herself, who witnessed a murder committed by her then-boyfriend Seamus O'Grady. The rings fall out into the open after one holder (Robert Patrick) was captured and the other (Bruce Willis) was killed. Demi Moore shows up as the disgruntled angel Madison Lee, forced out after suffering a bullet wound. She plays the mastermind of the whole operation, out to sell the rings to the highest bidder.

Well, the movie delivers what it promises: half-naked women frolicking around doing martial arts and whatnot. But, stealing a line from one of my professors, you can dazzle them with brilliance or baffle them with BS. Director McG and the writers have obviously chosen the latter; the entire thing doesn't make any sense. I'm lucky enough to get a 5 sentence summary. Madison obtains the rings early on in the movie, gives them to O'Grady, gets them back after the Angels take them, and comes back to sell them to O'Grady? Why didn't she sell them in the first place? Anyway, precious words shouldn't be used to describe the plot; it's a waste of time. Bernie Mac plays the new Bosley, but he doesn't get much to work with to play much of a role. Matt LeBlanc and Luke Wilson stand around as the boyfriends and John Cleese has a perpetual surprised look on his face as he finds out what his daughter Alex really does for a living. It results in a compilation of knockoffs of other shows that only serve to show off the bodies on-screen. 1.5 stars