Die Another Day
I was witness to two events steeped with tradition today. The first was the Big Game Bonfire Rally, an ongoing event for 70+ years to get everyone psyched up for the Big Game against Stanfurd. Being the third one I've attended, this one was probably the best yet, highlighted by the fact that they lit the bonfire on their first try after failures in previous years to light it with the victory cannon in 2000 and some kind of loud boom last year. A lively event with the fire, the band, the cheers, and the history, it adequately energized the crowd to root for California as they battle the Cardinal today.

The other was the latest installment of James Bond, celebrating its 40th year with its 20th film, Die Another Day. Can you Die Another Day if Tomorrow Never Dies? I don't know, but unlike the bonfire rally, this film ultimately disappointed.

This time, we find 007 in North Korea, trying to stop some illegal weapons transactions that could tip the scales in the battle between North and South. But Bond is caught and tortured. 14 months later, Bond is exchanged for the North Korean colonel's number one lieutenant. But Bond won't let this go, and so he goes off on his own to hunt for him again. It leads him to Hong Kong, Cuba, England, and Iceland. In the midst of these events, we're introduced to Gustav Graves, a newly-knighted adventurer who owns some diamond mines. Bond suspects he's hiding something and that he has connections to Zao, the guy he's hunting. Along the way, Halle Berry's character, Jinx, is introduced, along with Miranda Frost, a MI-6 agent who hasn't had an outstanding record but manages to stay close to Graves. With the help of Graves' satellite, Icarus, its mirror is used to redirect the sun's rays into a focused energy beam. As a result, the minefield protecting South Korea could be compromised. Will 007 stop them in time?

To me, this managed to combine the comedic timing of Austin Powers, the gadgets and ridiculousness of XXX, the gene therapy from Star Trek: Insurrection and the satellite from Batman & Robin. Gosh, it was boring. Admittedly, every Bond movie will provide solid entertainment. And this one was no different. But Bond seemed to have a different air to him this time. Maybe it's the lack of suspense. Maybe the sudden appearance of a personal vendetta. Whatever it was, it made him seem bland, less charismatic and maybe even a little old. Even the theme song by Madonna was subpar. The last two by Sheryl Crow and Garbage respectively were far better than this...thing. The effects were a cut below ok. Sure, everyone can do explosions, and that's something done with an abundance in this film, but that second surfing scene looked so fake. Why not have him surf for real and add the icebergs later? Somebody really needed to watch Blue Crush.

The writers looked to the past to find the villain Graves, with his one-dimensional thinking on world domination plopped into a futuristic environment. Please, is it really wise to have all those lasers, explosions, guns, and whatnot in a glass/ice environment? In Iceland of all places. Weren't we taught that Iceland had grass and Greenland had ice? Fine, we'll say Iceland does have ice at this time.

But the women steal the show as Halle Berry and Rosemund Pike act circles around their male counterparts. Pike's Miranda Frost seems to be a more traditional and interesting Bond character while Berry's Jinx introduces a new action element to the Bond heroine. But the plot doesn't give Jinx too much to do, really only playing the role of eye candy, save for a fighting scene with Frost at the end. With this introduction, I don't understand how Jinx deserves her own movie but maybe being by herself will make her into an even more desirable character.

Finally, the license plate on Bond's Aston Martin says EWW. What does this mean? Could it be a reference to the sick amount of technology found in the car? Or could it be the quality of this film?

No, the other films in the Brosnan era weren't quite up to the level of the best of Connery's or Moore's, but they had an air of professionalism, coolness, and suspense that Die Another Day severely lacks. 2 stars